Gabbu Singh Diaries 7 | The Ipad Rehab.

It was almost 2 years back that I ordered the new Ipad Air 2 with ‘Avyaan’s Ipad’ engraved on it. He was 18 months old then and the idea behind ordering the latest tablet was to introduce him to the world of rhymes and supposedly educational videos for the toddlers. So much for being a good parent ensuring an early all-round development for his beloved kid. And it wasn’t long that he became self-sufficient in operating the device and also having his clear favorites.

The Ipad went on for hours now and the entire household kept buzzing with the nursery rhymes. And as he started recognizing those rhymes, his elated reactions, giggles and excitement towards them made us jump in joy too. So much so that these rhymes started to play in our subconscious mind too. Being in office, I suddenly started humming ‘Old MacDonald had a farm…’, while working out in the gym, out of nowhere I found myself mumbling ‘Mary had a little lamb…’ and the bathroom singing soon changed from ‘London Thumkda’ to ‘London bridge is falling down, falling down, falling down…’. It was a rampage J.

But very soon he got bored of these rhymes and graduated to being a superhero, watching Spider-man, Superman, Batman, Captain America, Hulk and Co. And thanks to you tube that throws all kinds of suggestions while you are watching something,  not all what he watched was apt for his age, as it ranged from the vulgar, violent and obscene versions of superheroes doing all kind of things. Gradually, it started to show up in his behavior as well. He started jumping anywhere and everywhere like one of those superheroes, he was up to do ‘Dishoom’ to us if we did anything to his disliking and he even talked about the Hulks and Captain Americas of his world while he was asleep.

And it wasn’t long that it became an addiction to him. He wanted it all the time, so if we wanted him to have his meals switching on the Ipad became as essential as having salt in the food. If we are dining out somewhere he should have the screen on, for us to have a quiet dinner and likewise on lot of other things. To an extent, that he almost went in a state of trance when the Ipad was on and we could make him do anything and everything in that state. We did try a lot to cut down on his addictive habits but the resistance that we faced (from him) coupled with the convenience that switching on the Ipad gave us, made it all the more difficult.

But it was high time this menace had to be dealt with. So it was decided that his beloved Ipad had to be taken off in one go, there is no such thing like gradually pulling him out of this addiction. So one fine day it was decided that he will be told that if you watch Ipad you will turn into a skeleton (the very skeleton which his superheroes fight against). And on being told so he reluctantly agreed to not touch his Ipad, though he kept pestering us to let him watch his favorite videos but the mere mention of the ‘skeleton’ scare kept him at bay. We agreed to continue this for 21 days, as doing anything  consecutively for 21 days turns it into a habit. And its almost 2 months now that he hasn’t touched the Ipad or has asked for it. Though it can be argued that scaring him and getting him out of it wasn’t the best way to do it but in the hindsight I believe the final outcome outweighed the manner in which it was executed. In a sense, the rehab has been successfully executed, to an extent that even I am not allowed to surf on the Ipad, as he fears that his dad will turn into a skeleton by doing so J.

So what does he do now? He still watches his superheroes but these are new super heroes who don’t do those vulgar and unwanted things. His new-found super heroes are Hanumanji, Ganeshji, Shivji and Ramji, so much for his and his dad’s love for mythology. But even that is being done in a very guarded way, so that he watches it for a maximum of 1 hour and that too on TV. Rest of the time he is busy playing around with his toys or painting,  or reading his story books. And the real joy lies in seeing him transform from ‘HULK SMASHHH’ to ‘JAI SHREE RAM’ J.

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Is Kohli already India’s Captain Marvel?

When Virat Kohli led India clinched an expected test win over Bangladesh earlier this month, Kohli became India’s most successful Indian test captain ever after 23 tests. A feat that should certainly make him proud about himself and his team. And given the way he has led his team he will surely win 13 more matches in the years to come, making him the most successful Indian test skipper ever, overtaking MS Dhoni’s tally of 27 wins as the test skipper. But is Kohli already India’s best captain ever?

The team’s  recent records certainly suggest so and if we take into account how his batting has blossomed further ever since he has been the skipper, it easily makes him India’s most emphatic captain ever. Though, I feel it’s way too early to do the coronation yet. Not until, he leads the team on tours to England, South Africa, Australia and New Zealand at least once. As that might remarkably alter his prolific CV as a skipper, till then he is doing what every test captain should do, making the most of a long home test season. So who are the erstwhile skippers that feature in the elite all-time best captain list. Though, we have had a bevy of greats leading the team over the years where the likes of Gavaskar, Kapil Dev, Dravid and Kumble have led the side valiantly but my all-time favorite skipper list features Azhar, Dada and MSD.

Azhar, as it was under him that we became a very potent side and a force to reckon with in home conditions. His numbers as the skipper are a testimony to that, no wonder he held the record for being the most successful Indian skipper for a long time. So much so that it took a man of Dada’s caliber and indomitable style to eclipse his captaincy record and become India’s then most successful skipper across all formats. Though, it wasn’t just the no. of wins and big trophies that we won under him, that made him stand out, it was his remarkable aggressive style that instilled confidence in not only his players but also in all the fans cheering for Team India. He almost single handedly changed the way Indian cricket was perceived worldwide. But few years later came a man who changed the landscape of Indian Cricket forever, M S Dhoni. And after leading the side for almost 10 years when he signed off his captaincy stint earlier this year, he not only had all the nos and the big trophies in his cabinet but most importantly, also had the respect of all his opponents. He was neither as stylish as Azhar nor as aggressive as Dada or may be as conventional as Dravid or Kumble but his street smartness and calmness were his weapons that made his rivals fear him the most.

So Dhoni marginally pips Dada as my all-time favorite captain, primarily for his longevity and enigmatic calmness. Being the skipper of the side for almost 10 years without an inkling of controversy or a stain on his conduct and character does speak volumes about the impact he has had on Indian Cricket. There have been question marks on him being too defensive in his test captaincy during the later stages of his captaincy tenure but I believe with the dearth of good bowling options (neither Ashwin nor Jadeja were at their prime then) and with a legacy to protect, you are bound to focus on not losing then pressing on for a risky win proposition. But if you consider his captaincy across formats over the years, there won’t be many who can challenge him for being India’s captain marvel neither statistically nor tactically.

So, can Kohli the captain go past Dhoni the Captain Marvel? One. It’s too early to pass that judgement, at least not until he has toured all the major test playing nations once. Two. He will have to win at least one T20 World Cup, one ODI world cup and one Champions Trophy amongst other things to be reckoned in the same league. Three. He will have to keep scoring runs the way he his scoring now (which is humanly impossible) and the likes of Jadeja & Ashwin will have to keep taking wickets even outside India (which again is improbable). Why so, because Dhoni didn’t have to perform as a batsman or a bowler all the time as he had the luxury of having the likes of Tendulkar, Sehwag, Dravid, Laxman, Ganguly, Kohli, Zaheer, Kumble, Harbhajan et al for rescue on most occasions. Kohli’s team on the other hand has been piling on wins mostly on accounts of either Kohli scoring runs or Ashwin/Jadeja taking wickets in heap (not to discount the performances of other good players in the team), but what if both these match winning super power go through a lean patch in tandem? And lastly, Four. Find a perfect balance in being calm and also being aggressive in leading the side, at the same time. Dhoni had this natural ability to stay calm in the most unreal situations too akin to Kohli’s natural tendency of being aggressive. Though, Kohli has shown remarkable maturity in the last 18 months to channel his emotions and aggression in the right direction but it won’t be easy for him to curb his natural instinct and strength (aggression) and don an aura of calmness for the larger good of the team. Statistically, he might eclipse all the previous records set by any Indian captain but his real test would be to match and go beyond the legacy left behind by the likes of Dada and Dhoni.

But if there is anyone who can be India’s Captain Marvel for years to come, it’s unanimously Virat Kohli.

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Post Script – Personally, I feel Kohli’s India will do well overseas too, but for that to happen consistently Kohli can’t afford to just have himself and Ashwin as his only match winners.

The Magical 18th!

The quest for 18^th always gave a sense of dejavu, it was almost similar to the quest for the 100^th a few years back by someone as great, in a different sport though. In both the cases the fans hoped but knew of the improbability of the task. The 100^th did happen, much later than it should have been and is now synonymous to the great man that Sachin Tendulkar is considered in the game of Cricket. Similarly, 18^th might as well become synonymous to the great Roger Federer, unless of course he surprises us all again as he did on that unforgettable fortnight in Melbourne J.

But how did the 18^th happen? The great man himself didn’t see it coming this early after his comeback from the injury. Neither did his fans, as they were just happy with the fact that the maestro is back in action and they might be able to see some of his signature shots for the 2-3 rounds he survives post his comeback. And he himself summarized it the best when he said ‘ I thought I will do well to last 2-3 rounds, may be 4 or quarters max, if the draw is kind to me’. But he kept going, lasting back to back 5 setters, outclassing one top 10 player after the other and finally setting a dream date with his old nemesis, Mr Rafael ‘fighter’ Nadal. And the rest is now history, history written in golden words.

And once the finale date was set with Nadal, there was a sense of that old dejected acceptance that the inevitable will happen again (as it has happened so many times before) and the great man will succumb again to the resilience of the Spanish warhorse. And to add to that there has been a recent pattern to Federer’s grand slam performances, he keeps playing supreme tennis round after round and when he looks almost invincible he produces his most ordinary game that day and chickens out rather tamely. Interestingly, I was also chatting with one of my close pals during the finals and we both agreed to another pattern of his in the last few matches (including the finale), that as soon as his serve gets broken he almost gives up for the set and literally rushes to the start of next set, without an inkling of fight to comeback in that set. And this in addition to the other depressing patterns made fans like us very nervous and to some extent irritable as well J. As we all knew, if it’s not now, it’s never.

But four sets and a game later, the picture was almost clear,  with a break in hand Nadal wasn’t going to let go his 15^th grand slam title at any cost. But what happened in the final 8 games of the match was unexpected, un-Federer like and very Nadal-esque in nature. Breaking all recent patterns, Federer was on break point on all subsequent Nadal serves, finally breaking through to bring it back to serve. And then breaking Nadal’s serve again to serve for the Championship. Now if you are told a story that someone was a break down in the very first game of the final set of the championship final and he fought back hard to be on break point on all his opponent’s serve and finally breaking him twice to lift the trophy, you would without a hitch say that fighter someone would have been none other than ‘Nadal’. So yes, Federer actually did a Nadal in that final set to complete his quest for 18^th.

And that feeling, that joy, that happiness which that win brought has been surreal. Nothing could have been sweeter, the wait has been for almost 5 years now and even without the 18^th he would have still continued to be the best and the greatest players to have ever played the game, in our hearts. But the 18^th was probably his way of thanking all his fans for the unparalleled love and support for him over the years. The class, the finesse, the aura that he emanates through his game and through his conduct gives you a joy and high of its own kind, which probably can’t be expressed in words. And there are very few moments  in life that give you that feeling of inherent happiness and satisfaction in whatever small things you do post that joyous moment, this certainly was one such moment.

We don’t know for how long we would be watching your mind-blowing backhand winners, magical drop shots and unbelievable tweeners but with this magnificent 18^th you have won us all over again, and this time for life.

Thank you Roger!

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kin…

The 2017 Date with the New Years Resolution Monster.

It was new year’s eve and Santa was back home up north after a long and arduous journey across the globe. As he crashed on to his couch he summoned the Resolution Monster to set off on a similar, across the globe trail, to register the new year resolutions. Resolution Monster being his lazy-self decided to visit only an interesting few; and there resolutions for 2017 are as recorded below.

Donald Trump – My resolution for the year is to also run the country and try not to focus on just highlighting how dumb witted Hillary and her likes are.

Shahid Afridi – I vow to play for the U-19 world cup for Pakistan and Insha Allah bring glory to my nation.

Rahul Gandhi – My resolution for the year is to help the poor of the country by providing them one ‘aloo factory’ per household.

Yograj Singh -  I decide to make Mahendra Singh Dhoni the captain of Indian test team, so that I can blame him for Yuvraj’s ouster from the test team.

Arvind Kejriwal – My resolution for 2017 is to expose Mr Modi and his government on all fronts without compromising on my weekly movie reviews.

Navjot Singh Sidhu – I plan to be part of Samajwadi Party, Bahujan Samaj Party and CPI in 2017 and also be the judge on at least 5 more comedy shows.

Himesh Reshamiya – My 2017 resolution is to (re)launch myself in Bollywood as an action hero and register Bollywood’s first 1000 crore movie.

By now the  resolution monster has had enough with these bizarre resolutions. So as the last shot, he happened to visit me to register my 2017 resolutions. But by now he was furious, so rather than just registering my 2017 resolutions he started by asking me how did I fare in 2016 with my resolutions. I wasn’t having a very rosy report card but I confided with whatever I had accomplished –

·         2016 Resolution 1: To write at least 2 blogs every month, plus 4 technical blogs in the year –  Couldn’t match up to this and out of a target of 26, I could only churn out 14 (11+3). No apparent reason for this other than laziness.

·         2016 Resolution 2: To read at least 12 good books in the year – Did well on this one and read as many as 15 books across genres. And if not for the Game of Thrones book 1, which took a lot of time to complete, the overall count could have been much higher.

·         2016 Resolution 3: To go on 1 solo vacation this year – The most fun of all the 2016 resolutions and I accomplished this with flying colors by being to picturesque Cinque Terre, Italy, all by myself.

·         2016 Resolution 4: To work out for at least 150 days in the year and giving away on Pizza for the year – Yes and No. The most satisfying bit for 2016 was my gym discipline throughout the year, as I was in the gym working out from the 1^st day of the year till 31^st Dec with over 200 days of workout in between. Gratifying indeed. Though, giving away on Pizza for the year didn’t happen, and how can it happen if one happens to be in Italy 3 times in the year. But over 200 days of working out kind of compensated for it J.

·         2016 Resolution 5: Spending some quality personal time with parents and old friends – Did well on this as well, spent real quality time with not just my parents but with old pals too. Blissful!

The resolution monster was all teary by now and he couldn’t stopped himself from giving me a bear hug and roared in full gusto ‘go on superstar, announce your 2017 vows and I am sure you would be the only one among st the many I have visited today, to keep your head high when I come back again on 2018’s new year’s eve’.

And that got my 2017 resolutions officially registered –

·         2017 Reading Resolution : To read at least 12 good books in the year – This one stays as is, though I would want to outperform myself by reading far many interesting books this year around. So much for the joy of being in love with a beautiful book all the time J.

·         2017 Writing Resolution : To write at least 2 blogs every month in the year –  As much as I love writing, I have been failing to clock this one from last 2 years, I hope I show better discipline in 17’ and nab it this time.

·         2017 Me Time Resolution : To go on 1 solo vacation this year – I am in so much love with this one that I couldn’t think of doing away with it. Though, it’s not easy to plan and execute it for obviously ‘scary reasons’ but clocking this resolution in the year is the real icing on the cake.

·         2017 Fitness Resolution : To work out for at least 200  days in the year  – With the kind of discipline I have exhibited on this front, in addition to other activities like playing tennis and swimming, I feel confident to raise the bar a bit higher than the last year, all with a goal to stay fit and get fitter by every passing year.

·         2017 Family Time Resolution : Spend more quality time with Avyaan by reducing my daily screen time – Unfortunately, post office hours are primarily eaten up by the Facebooks, Kindles and Netflix of the worlds, all at the expense of Avyaan also spending more than usual hours on his ipad. So I vow to reduce/negate my screen time while he is awake, to spend more quality time with him.

The resolution monster gleefully registered all my 2017 resolutions, wished me luck and signed off for the year by greeting me ‘Happy New Year’.

So like every year the goals have been set and the set resolutions would be chased to keep the year interesting till the 31^st of Dec. And like always, there would be lot of other soft resolutions too that would be chased, something on the lines of ‘buying that expensive watch that I have been eyeing for last 2 years’, ‘being in Wimbledon Championships again with a hope to see King Federer in action’, ‘attend one of India’s matches for the 2017 Champions Trophy edition’ and lastly try to be happier.

Happy New Year 2017!

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Post Script – There are only few of my friends who indulge in resolution ‘making and keeping’ exercise but one of them who always manages to impress me with the sheer simplicity of his resolutions is Nitesh. So while he vowed to brush before bed every night in 2016, he has taken a resolution to get up and take bath at 6 every morning. As always, way to go bro J.

The Demonetization Storm – Behind the scenes parody.

“This is a work of fiction - any resemblance to actual persons or event living or dead is purely intentional”

This is a small behind the scenes parody about the recently announced biggest demonetization drive of the century, which has shaken the entire nation, especially the political class. The key characters involved in these conversations are-

Mr Moti – Jumla King of India, travel junkie, also works as the Prime Minister in free time.

Mr Tetley – One of the renowned lawyers of the country, claims himself to be the Finance Minister of the country.

Mr Susu Swami – Julian Assange of India, owner of Gandhi Leaks.

Mr Baijnath Singh – Home Minster of India, better known as Ninda Mama for his ability to criticize anybody and everybody for anything untoward.

Mr DhaaGa – Prime Minister in waiting since 1970, India’s entry to World IQ competition.

Mr Farjiwal – Flag bearer of the Harish Chandra clan, born with a motto to oppose Mr Moti till the last breath, also the Cheap Minister of Delhi.

Ms Samta Sadisabji – The mercurial head of state of West Bengal, aspires to be the leader of a secular front, most concerned about the poor of the country.

Mr Sanak Power – Shrewd veteran politician, once a kingmaker, now a homemaker, makes appearance only during the major national events.

Mr Malham Singh – Former Chief Minister of the largest state of the country, struggling for a firm hold on his party against his own son.

Ms Dayawati  - Former Chief Minister of the largest state of the country, better known for her huge statues across the state, proclaims herself to be the messiah of the Dalits.

Nov 8^th 2016, 8 PM, New Delhi - Prime Minister Moti addresses the nation and announces the biggest demonetization drive of the country by banning Rs 500 & Rs 1000 notes from midnight, with a firm vision to eradicate black money.

Excerpts

Mr Moti (to the nation)– We have been working on this project with full secrecy from last 8 months and only a handful were aware and involved in this project.

Mr Tetley (to Mr Susu Swami) – I am the finance minister of the country and I had no clue about such a high profile project until yesterday!

Mr Susu Swami – Finance Minister?? Oh yes! That’s surprising, if you are the FM, you should have been involved in this project.

Mr Susu Swami – Nonetheless, I know all the details, as I was the one who proposed this historic idea to Moti.

Mr Tetley – Don’t brag, I got a whatsapp message from Baijnath Singh that it was some NGO guy, Mr Bokil whose 9 min meeting got extended to a 2 hour seminar and Moti got started thereafter.

Mr Susu Swami – Mr Bokil is my guy and he also has a count of all the Rs. 500 & Rs. 1000 notes that Dhaaga and his family hold. I will expose them in few days.

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Nov 8^th 2016, 8.29 PM, New Delhi – Mr Farjiwal calls up Mr Dhaaga

Mr Farjiwal (to Mr Dhaaga) – Are you watching Moti’s new bomb against black money and corruption?

Mr Dhaaga – No man, I am busy with Chota Bheem Childrens Day weeks special marathon episode on Pogo. What happened, all ok?

Mr Farjiwal – It was surgical strike last month and now it’s an even bigger dhamaka. He is making his Jumlas true one by one, leave aside 2019, now even 2024 looks uncertain for us.

Mr Dhaaga – Can’t be true man, I can’t wait to be the PM for so long, Sanak uncle told me he will make me PM by 2019 for sure.

Mr Farjiwal – Then do something, we need to oppose it right away.

Mr Dhaaga – But how can you oppose it, you are the self-anointed crusader against corruption and black money.

Mr Farjiwal – That’s right, how can he hijack my agenda. We have to oppose it and make it dirty as soon as possible.

Mr Dhaaga – I don’t know man what should I do, let me talk to Sanak uncle for ideas.

Mr Farjiwal – Ok fine, I will arrange for a press conference to misguide people and downplay Moti’s new gimmick.

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Nov 9^th 2016 - Headlines

Mr Sanak Power appreciates Moti’s demonetization move.

Mr Ganna Hazare applauds Moti’s sincerity to fight corruption.

Top industrialists and sportsmen welcome Moti’s anti - black money crusade.

Baba Kamdev appeals to the nation to support Moti in his fight against black money.

Ms Samata Sadisabji calls demonetization a draconian move, a curse for the poor.

Nov 9^th 2016, 10.15 AM, New Delhi – Mr Dhaaga calls up Mr Sanak Power

Mr Dhaaga (To Mr Sanak Power) – Sanak Uncle, did you see what Moti did? Can you please issue a statement against him and guide me on my next move?

Mr Sanak Power – Son, I have just issued a congratulatory message for his decision in the media.

Mr Dhaaga – How can you do that? What about your own treasure, how will you take care of that?

Mr Sanak Power – I was aware of this and I have already taken care of it. And appreciating him was important to keep the focus away from me.

Mr Dhaaga – Very clever. How about me?

Mr Sanak Power (consolatory tone) – You can’t be clever now son, you are too old for it!

Mr Dhaaga (furious) – I meant, how about me, what should I do now, he has once again stolen all the limelight.

Mr Sanak Power – Walk to the nearest bank branch, stand in the queue with the mob, let them click some selfies, criticize the government for poor management and ask your party workers to fake support few elderly in the queue.

Mr Dhaaga – You mean the same trick that we played out by eating at farmers hut and meeting the grieving soldiers family?

Mr Sanak Power – Yes, my son.

Mr Dhaaga – You are a rock star uncle, I will certainly give you a plump portfolio in 2019.

Mr Sanak Power – Amen!

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Nov 9^th 2016, 6.15 PM, New Delhi – Mr Farjiwal holds a press conference in wake of the economic emergency in the country

Reporter – Mr Cheap Minister, Mr Moti’s move is historic, what are your thoughts on it?

Mr Farjiwal – This is a plot against the poor. Mr Moti’s sole aim is to harass the poor people of India.

Reporter – But Sir, this move is revolutionary and will help is curbing the corruption and also fight against the black money menace. Even your guru Mr. Ganna Hazare has backed it.

Mr Farjiwal – Ganna is innocent. Banning 500 & 1000 notes can never curb black money, real black money is stashed outside India in the foreign banks.

Reporter – Sir, in 2014 when Mr Moti requested the European banks to cooperate with him in unearthing the black money, you professed that the real black money is stashed inside the country. You are contradicting yourself now.

Mr Farjiwal – Mr Moti is working for the NATAs, Badani and Dambanis, he doesn’t care about the poor.

Reporter – Sir you haven’t answered by question.

Mr Farjiwal – Ignores.

Reporter – Sir you should join hands with Mr Moti and support him as you have positioned yourself as  the brand ambassador of anti-corruption movement in India.

Mr Farjiwal – I can’t join hands with communal forces whose only agenda is to cause inconvenience to the people by means of riots and unlawful situations.

Reporter – Sir, riots and unlawful situation? But there are absolutely no news of any unrest anywhere in the country and people are fully supportive of this move.

Mr Farjiwal – Yes I would like to thank my party workers for it. We are keeping a close eye on the law and order situation in the country and our workers will ensure that despite Mr Moti’s ulterior motive the situation remains in control.

Press conference ends

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Nov 10^th 2016 - Headlines

Unreserved Bank of India confirms a collection of over Rs 1 Lakh crore corpus in the first 2 days of the demonetization drive.

Government admits lack of preparation in the smooth execution of demonetization drive, pledges to work towards improving public inconvenience.

Mr Moti addresses a rally in Goa, declares demonetization drive a huge success, thanks the nation and warns of more strict measures in the days to come.

Ms Dayawati criticizes Mr Moti for his inhuman move.

Nov 10^th 2016, 8.20 PM, New Delhi, All Party Meet to formulate a strategy against Moti’s Demonetization storm

Mr Dhaaga – We can’t let Moti ruin our political careers by killing us with one blow after the other every few days. If this goes on, we won’t even have 4 of our 44 seats!

Mr Sanak Power – But we can’t blindly oppose anything and everything, certainly not this drive as this will show us all in a bad light.

Ms Samata Sadisabji – This is against the poor, we all have to unite to work together in the common interest of our nation.

Mr Sanak Power – Madam, relax you are not in front of the cameras, hold on to your drama.

Mr Farjiwal – We have to play the law and order card, give it a communal flavor and spread the fire across the nation.

Mr Dhaaga – But there is hardly any unrest, people are happily queuing up and are smiling for selfies.

Mr Malham Singh – Someone tell me, what I should do with all the note bundles that my party men have been working on for last 3 months in preparation for the state elections?

Ms Dayawati – Drain them down, it was anyways my turn to be the CM. You forgot our odd even formula?

Mr Farjiwal – O come on, what OUR formula? It is my formula!

Mr Malham Singh – Son, relax. You focus on preparing for Moti’s next bonanza, this deal is already a lost one.

Mr Sanak Power – I second Malham, we can’t cross the line on this one, it will expose us all.

Mr Dhaaga – But I will be the PM in 2019, right?

All (on chorus) – Certainly :).

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kin…

The Great Indian 'Demon' Revolution.

All through our lives we have read about the great revolutions of the past centuries that have changed the course of nations and world in general. And at the back of our mind we have always envisaged them as something fictitious or a tale best suited to glorify our history books. But with the ongoing demonetization drive spearheaded by Prime Minister Modi,  the 125 crores people strong nation has by default become a part of one of the most momentous revolution to have ever taken place in India.

A big step, if not ‘THE’ step to tame the menace of black money, but surely a bold step in the right direction which none of his predecessors have dared to take. Expectedly, as the trend has been in the last 2.5 years, a strong segment of media and opposition is blindly opposing it zestfully, irrespective of the long term cure that this revolution will bring to our long ailing  corrupt system, they are more keen to play the literal role of an opposition, which per them is to ‘oppose’. Now if you look at it from a neutral perspective, it would have been so easy for Mr Modi to not undertake this herculean and rather wrath-inviting task and still got re-elected in 2019, not by the virtue of his supposedly good work (good as compared to what his predecessors have delivered ) but by the sheer incapability and lack of presence of a strong challenger to his throne. Despite that he still took a plunge, which in itself is an indicator of his intent, vision and passion to do good for the nation.

Now there is a section in our society who has invariably discounted, laughed off and down played whatever new or commendable initiative he has taken ever since he took oath. And that is to a good extent acceptable too because I for myself also discounted or downplayed whatever little good the erstwhile Manmohan Singh government did. But there are certain things which are too good to be true and on the face value seem unbelievably perfect to be happening in Indian context and as a responsible citizen of this country one should support and respect such initiatives irrespective of their inherent loyalties. And the mantra of a true rivalry and sportsmanship states that it is wise to concede and acknowledge the opponent if he has done something extraordinarily good, blind criticism on anything and everything only does harm to oneself.

So for those disregarding the demonetization by stating that this isn’t the 1^st of its kind and this was already done once in last 70s, do they even know that our economy wasn’t even tenth of what it is today, the scale of execution is several times higher and irrespective of 1^st time or 10^th time, isn’t it a good exercise which should have been done say 10-15-20 years back? Is it necessary to bring up the 2^nd time rhetoric rather than simply appreciating this bold move on its face value and moving on?

For those who are focusing on the inconvenience caused to the common masses due to lack of proper planning, isn’t this 50 day inconvenience worth the larger good it will do to our corrupt system? And as a matter of fact the Prime Minister has himself admitted that there will be inconvenience due to the scale of this operation and inherent inefficiencies in our system but we should collectively sail through, keeping an eye on the long term benefits this temporary inconvenience is causing.

Those who are discounting this mega drive by lamenting that this will not curb or eradicate the black money menace, should pay heed to the fact that only in the 1^st four days of this exercise over one lakh crore rupees of black money has already come into the mainstream banking system. Can you imagine what good can be done through such a corpus for the all-round development of our society? Quite certainly, it would only be a fraction of what actually exists, but isn’t it a good starting point? Or shall we not start the treatment, assuming that this treatment wont fully cure us in one go?

People might say that it has been hastily planned and it should have been done in a more phased manner. But in retrospective it all seems very sequential - opening of Jan Dhan accounts, linkage of Aadhar card for subsidies, excise duty on jewelry, continuous pressure to declare your unaccounted wealth etc. This was bound to happen! And interestingly as the PM says there is more to come, much to the glee and relief of the poor and diligent tax payers like me and to the misery of those who have been looting and not paying taxes for last so many decades. And for the proponents of the phased execution of this exercise, if at all this could have been achieved successfully, it had to be done as ruthlessly as they are doing it now. Yes, they could have done better to improve certain operational issues that are causing inconvenience to the masses, but in the longer run they are inconsequential with regards to the objective we are heading to achieve.

These are changing times for our nation and for a change our nation is changing for good :). Like it or not, we are under the leadership of a man who is hell bent to change the system which has been ailing, inefficient and lackadaisical  for decades. He has a clear vision in his mind and he is tactfully working towards implementing it. And for those who have been discounting and ridiculing him as a ‘jumlebaaz’ all these years, truly and surely know his worth in gold by now :). He is here to stay, he will make his stay count and I am proud to have elected him as my Prime Minister.

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Post Script – Mr Modi is that high performing employee who goes by his manager’s script of doing good throughout the year and making the right noises that will earn him a good appraisal in the coming cycle :).

London Diaries 8 | The Wimbledon Spectacle.

I have always wondered why Tennis happens to be amongst the most followed sports in India. As barring the Tier 1 cities there is hardly any supporting infrastructure for the sport to flourish. Unlike Cricket, this sport has only a handful of national sporting icons to look forward to. So the only potentially strong reason I could think of is ‘Doordarshan’. In the late 80s and early 90s where television was a luxury and present day bouquet of channels a distant reality, Doordarshan was the only source of entertainment. And of the many classics that Doordarshan telecasted, Wimbledon and French Open were the two annual sporting events that the channel broadcasted. This not only enlightened the nation about the nuances of this beautiful sport but also made the likes of Lendls, Mc Enroes, Couriers, Navratilova, Grafs as the household names and Wimbledon as the mecca of tennis. Ever since it has been a dream to experience this spectacle live on those hallowed lawns.

And the opportunity presented itself when I relocated to London 2 years back. But it isn’t easy to get tickets for the annual Championships as you have to either go for the lottery/ballot route which opens the year before in September with lucky draws out in Feb/Mar or you queue up with a hundred thousands more from 2 AM in the morning for the day pass/ticket. While the latter wasn’t a possibility, hard luck prevailed in the former and Wimbledon 2016 also seemed to be an improbable proposition.  But interestingly as the championships started, week 1 was marred by rains, with lot of matches piled up for week 2. I was Cognizant of the fact that middle Sunday is the rest day and only 4 times in over 100 years has there been play on the middle Sunday. So with such massive disruption in play, the possibility of play on this year’s Middle Sunday was ripe. My constant vigil on their official website helped, as they announced late Friday evening that there will be play on this year’s Middle Sunday to accommodate for all the pending matches for the week and the tickets will be sold online next day at 1PM. I was all gung-ho  from 1230 to not miss this golden chance to grab a pair of tickets but there was another delay and the ticket sale started only at 3PM. And by 3.02 PM whole of Centre Court was gone, thankfully I got the Court 1 tickets which also gave me access to watch matches on all other courts, and the feeling was akin to getting 99 percentile in CAT J.

Then, began the quest for the partner to accompany me on ‘THE’ day. Family couldn’t go as kids under 5 are not allowed in the show courts, so much for that coveted decorum. I called up few friends, most busy with their late Saturday afternoon nap missed the call, one answered and got lucky to live the dream of being in attendance at the Championships. There were some hush-hush calls between two of us in preparation for the most anticipated day in a long-long time, we were both apprehensive about the attire we have to wear to gain access – formals or whites was the dilemma. Thankfully, the official website confirmed that there are no such restrictions for the spectators at least and if we have the tickets we are the Kings of the Wimbledon for the day J.

On the morning of the match day, the euphoria was at its pinnacle, the moment we entered the premises we were awestruck, eyes and mouth both wide opened. There was still sometime for the start of play, so we decided to do a tour of the Centre Court, the arena that has been the host to so many epic battles. Our tickets didn’t allow us to enter the centre court but on some typical Indian persuasion the gate guards agreed to let us in to have a view and click some photographs. We made the most of it and spent almost half an hour inside, soaking in the magnanimity of the place.  While we came out of the Centre Court, there was still some time to the start of play so we planned to meander around the practise courts in the anticipation of bumping into few tennis stars. And to our good fortune, we managed to see the likes of Serena, Kuznetsova, Stephens, Del Potro practising in full flow just yards away from us, giving us a clear idea on what goes behind those stellar performances on the court. It was a real treat to watch these stars prepare for their matches.

As the day began, we kept hoping from one court to the other catching up on the key moments of all the in-play matches. The key matches that we watched were Kuznetsova vs Stephens tight 3 setter, Kyrgios vs Lopez, battle of the serves, Vesely upsetting Sousa in 3 straight sets but the highlight of all these single matches was the Isner Vs Tsonga epic 5 setter that was as breath taking as the final score line read 7/6 6/3 6/7 2/6 17/19. It was a real humdinger with neither of the players willing to relent. I so wished to watch either of Federer or Djokovic in action, but the former had a day off and latter had already suffered a shocking exit a day before. But 2 matches that we were eyeing right from the time we saw the order of play were ladies double match featuring Sania and Hingis and men’s doubles duel involving the legendary Leander Paes. Now the early round matches of both men’s and ladies doubles don’t happen on the show courts rather they are being played on the open courts which are placed one besides the rather. This gave us the opportunity to watch both these Indian icons from an arms distance, though Paes and his partner crashed out with a dismal straight 2 set loss to there much younger and agile opponents, Sania and Hingis literally steam rolled there Japanese rivals. Nonetheless, it was a real proud moment watching our Indian heroes live in action.

The day couldn’t have been more busy, remarkable and breath taking. It lived up to its billing and the age long wait. However, two things stood out that day, one was my friend identifying Serena’s mother meandering outside Center Court, possibly coming out of Serena’s match and switching courts to see Venus in action. He rushed up to her, requesting for a selfie and she replied back with the most dramatic response possible, ‘Really’ (she said, surprised by the fact that he is keen to get clicked with her too J ). Yes he said, and we became a part of the most unusual selfie of our livesJ. Second was with Leander, he was visibly upset post his surprise 2^nd round loss and as he came out of the court he was mobbed by the Indian diaspora for photographs and autographs. He kindly obliged all the fans but I missed out on the photo op as I was too far behind. As he moved ahead with his escort, I ran behind him for a potential selfie with the superstar, his escort came to the rescue and sternly warned me to back off. But to the true gentleman that Leander is, he held the escort back and told me ‘come on in, click it fast’. That was enough for me to get bowled over by him for life, not for his game but for his humility this time, true gentleman indeed.

It was a satiating day, couldn’t have asked for a better outing. The tagline of the championship reads ‘IN PURSUIT of GREATNESS’, and while you spend your time there you could actually relate to this tagline. There is something special, something extraordinary about the entire setting, something that makes you fall in love with the place and the event forever. I wish I keep getting more and more chances to witness this spectacle and get enchanted by this phenomena all over again, preferably with a bit of Federer in live action too J.

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Post Script – Live cricket in Lords, CHECK. Live premier league game at Emirates Stadium, Arsenal, CHECK. Live tennis at Wimbledon, CHECK. What next? Possibly Ind v Pak, Champion Trophy match at Kia Oval next year J.

Gabbu Singh Diaries 6 | That fun, frolic and little bit of embarrassment.

Your life changes when your toddler starts talking, not that the women in your life were anyways giving you a chance to speak a lot. But at least, in this state of speechlessness you can smile, rejoice and cherish it for a long time. So these days Avyaan behaves and talks as if he has just returned from an exile and he has to talk, talk and talk to make up for all the lost speech time of the last two years. So some of these anecdotes are really hilarious, some are embarrassing and some are way too awkward to be shared J.

Now he has this habit of calling anything that is not in place as ‘broken’. So if he is watching his rhymes on the iPad and something goes wrong with it, he would shout for help calling ‘ daddy its broken, fix it’, and similarly for everything that is not per his wish. So while the much awaited summer season arrived (so to say) and it was time to do away with the ankle kissing pajamas and adorn those comfy shorts. The boy was so shocked, that he literally cried looking at his bare legs (from knee to toe) and resorted to his usual broken chant, ‘daddy my pajama is broken, please fix it’. It took me a while to hold on to my laughter, empathize with his ‘broken’ emotions and ensure him that his shorts/pajamas are indeed not broken J.

One fine evening in Milan, while we were exploring the fashion capital on an open top bus, he was sitting beside me, pointing out and calling out names to whatever was passing by. Shortly, we passed by a billboard that had  2-3 bikini clad models advertising about some popular Italian beach destination. The moment he saw that billboard he shouted in utter excitement, ‘Daddy, it’s aunt in diapers, aunt in diapers’. Needless to say, hearing his innocent remark the entire upper deck was in splits and Gabbu Singh’s dad was found coping-up with a bout of embarrassment J.

Few weeks later while we were in the holy city of Vatican marveling over the iconic St. Peters Basilica, Avyaan was busy running around the large hallway of the basilica. We kept insisting him to fold his hands and seek blessings from the almighty but he was way too busy to enjoy his day out in that beautiful monument. When I kept on pestering him for the same, he finally paid heed by shouting ‘Jai Shree Ram’ at the centrum of the world’s largest religion, much to the joy of the omnipresent and giggling Indian touristy community there J.

So having emphasized the importance of grooming right from his early days, Avyaan acknowledges its credence and on most occasions adheres to what is expected out of him in those regards, timely cutting ‘yucky’ nails being one of them. So while visiting the London’s momentous ‘Natural History Museum’ couple of weeks back, Gabbu happened to spend his quality time in the most popular Dinosaur section of the museum. He was so enchanted by and observant of the gigantic replicas of those dinosaurs there that while leaving the section he innocently came to me and requested me to cut one of the dinosaur’s yucky nails. I somehow managed the situation by telling him that I have forgotten those big nail cutters at home. But it won’t be long when I would again be put on spot to cut some other dinosaur’s or may be a real dogie's yucky nails impromptu J

And as he speaks and speaks, that fun, frolic and little bit of embarrassment just keeps getting better and better.

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It's a relative world, will always be.

Sometime back I was reading an article on Accenture’s new appraisal system where they have done away with the age old bell curve mechanism of normalizing the appraisal process and grading their employees. Ever since, I couldn’t somehow fathom how and on what basis they would be rating an employee without bench-marking him against somebody else. My simple query was how would the company sustain its profitability and margins if they went on to actually rate all its employees on his merits, what if everyone actually does well some fine year. A very unrealistic scenario may be, but beyond a point can you actually function without being relative?

Relativity per say is a bitter/sweet reality that determines the course of every aspect of our lives today. It would be unfair to categorize it as good or bad in truest sense but it can act in our favour in some scenarios and against as well otherwise.

So if you are a Virat Kohli you won’t be just judged by the no. of runs, centuries and wins you clock for your team but fortunately or unfortunately you would be rated, pitched and compared against what some Sachin Tendulkar did by that time in his career. That’s relativity for you.

If you are some Narendra Modi you won’t be just judged by the goods that you would have done for the country but rather interestingly, you would also be evaluated by how badly you have fared vis-à-vis your predecessors on those unthought-of parameters which you would have considered inconsequential on the priority pedestal. That’s again relativity.

If you are a Ranbir Kapoor your star power is measured by the no. of multi crore blockbusters you have given vis-à-vis the mighty Khans of the industry. And if you are some Rajkumar Rao your acting prowess is measured by the no. of national awards or critics awards you have won in comparison to the Irfan Khans and Naseeruddin Shahs of the worlds. Voila, relativity!

Accenture or Lovely University, if you are an employee you would be rated and evaluated for what your peers have done better over you, rather than what good you would have done in general or even over them. That again interestingly is the resultant of the relativity in today’s realm of things.

And despite all your mental prowess and acumen if you could still manage to be a boyfriend or a husband your true worth is determined by how well you fare against the other boyfriends and husbands in your community. Needless to say you could never fare better, thanks to the unique form of relativity that operates in such scenarios J.

So Mahatma Gandhi is still considered to be an all-time  great national leader because the likes of Sonias and Rahuls do exist. Tendulkar is considered to be among the best batsman of his era because he was a shade brighter in his skill in comparison to the  likes of Ponting, Lara and Kallis. Aamir Khan happens to be one of the most successful actors of our times because the likes of Fardeen Khan, Tushar Kapoor and Aftab Shivdasani also exist. And so on. In a nutshell, it has always been a relative world, people are good, not so good or bad only because of the relatively that comes into play every single time irrespective of the trade you are a part of. No wonder relativity has and will always determine on how we fare in our lives and you don't need some Einstein to prove you that.

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