Where Cricket is a religion and every fan a Demigod.

In India, there is a common saying that Cricket is a religion and Sachin is the God. I reckon every cricket fan here is a self-proclaimed demi-god. In the sense, that irrespective of his education, background or no. of years he has actually played or followed the game, he is the only one who knows it all. And he knows it in a way like no one else does. No wonder, every nook and corner in our country is always buzzing with an intense cricketing debate, where every participant holds a strong view and interestingly the right view as well J. And per my observation you can classify these demi-god cricket fanatic in 6 broad categories.

The Factual Bombardier – He is the one who is always ready with numbers and statistics and will try to win every argument by the sheer weight of these nos. He will bombard you with a bevy of nos. the moment you tell him that whenever Sachin scored a 100, India lost or Sachin never scored when the team needed it the most. So if you wish to indulge into a debate with one such gentleman, be ready for a heavy statistics dossier.

The Old times Advocate – Now whatever our current stars do, this breed of fan would downplay that by singing praises in favour of the yesteryear greats. So if you go gaga over Virat Kohli or Sachin Tendulkar, be ready to hear that ‘these new age stars are no match to the old war horses like Gavaskar and Richards’. And if you try to defend your stars by their nos., they will quickly resort to, ‘ the bowlers of this era are hardly a match to the legends of 70s & 80s, so these nos against poor bowling attacks count for nothing’.

The long lost fanatic – He is someone who was once upon a time a cricket fan but has now lost the appetite to follow the game and hence isn’t as updated today. But interestingly, he fails to accept the fact that he isn’t abreast with the current know-how of the game and goes on debating with full gusto. So if you talk about Virat Kohli’s glorious run of form, he will quickly jump and say ‘but he failed in all the matches in 2015 WC in OZ’. And if you politely update him with Kohli’s unbelievable streak of runs, he would either digress or downplay the fact saying ‘but still he has to become far more consistent to be a good player’.

The ever so pessimist cribber – Whatever be the state of the match, be it the start of the match, or a sure shot winning situation, this guy will make sure that you always have that semblance of doubt about our chances in the match. So even if we need 2 runs of the last over with 5 wickets in hand, he will quickly quip ‘ don’t trust them to win as yet, they  can still get all out’. Or even if we are playing against a low rung team, he will be the one to remind you of a potential upset.

The bubbly dynamite – How often have you come across a wannabe female Cricket lover who tries very hard to portray herself as the most die-hard fan (in a group of Cricket fanatic male friends) but sooner than later goofs up by asking something very trivial. Something like, ‘hey why is Dhoni not playing Zaheer today, I like him so much’ or if Rahane takes a catch they will credit that wicket to his name.

The I told you so irritant – And the most irritating of them all, the ones who come up with their ‘I told you so’ after something unexpected has already happened. So if Bumrah got hit for 4 sixes in the last over, this gentlemen would quickly say ‘ I told you so, he will leak runs in this over’. Or if a part timer comes and gets a wicket 1^st ball, he will immediately pop up saying, ‘ see, I told you he will strike’ and so on.

And the most interesting and hilarious cricketing discussions happen when these varied cricketing demi-gods unite for a post-match dissection. So in a country where Cricket is a religion and every fan is a demigod, an expert with a very strong and ‘right’ point of view, you can never take the risk of underestimating or downplaying the Cricketing prowess of any Cricket fan.

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Post Script – And then, there is also a breed of Cricket fanatics who are not so concerned about their team but are only bothered about the players they have selected in their team – The Fantasy League Maniacs J.

Where the Anti-Hero outcasts the Real Hero.

The month gone by was a very contrasting and saddening one for the very idea of India. Two young Indians hogged the limelight this month but for very different reasons. On one hand a brave son of our country, Hanumanthapa, eventually lost his life to a monstrous avalanche by being buried under a 35 ft. snow cover, serving his motherland in inhuman conditions. And on the other, a youngster by the name Kanhaiya Kumar exercised his freedom of speech and idea of nationalism in a way that took the entire country by a storm. Unfortunately, where we should have ideally spent the month in celebrating and coronating the former for his sacrifice, thanks to our vibrant and sensationalism seeking media we opted to divulge all our attention and energy towards the latter’s heroics.

Now a large section of media has been advocating Kanhaiya’s controversial speech through the tenets of ‘Freedom of Speech’. But can freedom of speech shield or cover for any level of obscenity? Can you abuse your mother under the gambit of freedom of speech? Can you go to Times Square, New York, hail Osama Bin Laden and still leave scot free stating you were exercising your freedom of speech? There has to be some sanity, some logic and some sense of responsibility that has to be exercised even while exorbitantly leveraging ones freedom of speech.

But since there are theories doing the rounds that the entire Kanhaiya fiasco has been made up, the video was doctored and the poor guy was made a scapegoat. Let us for a moment not discuss what all he supposedly said (or not said). And only focus on the celebrity status that has been bestowed upon him by the media and some political parties. They believe he is the voice of present day India, he is the one who is asking the real questions and he is the one who is also the future of the nation, which otherwise is in darkness, under the current government. But are things really as alarming?

He feels that under Mr Modi the nation has gone to an age which is akin to Hilter’s era. Really? But you still delivered that shameful speech and went on to become the most celebrated hero of the year. He feels that onslaught of poverty, high inflation and all the miseries that the common man of this nation have to bear is due to Mr Modi. Really? Not many were probably aware then, that prior to 2014 (since Modi took charge) this nation was a wonderland. He also feels that the current regime has forcefully saffron-ized the culture of this nation. Really? Your supporters have been professing this theory even when Modi & Co were in opposition but a thumping majority still brought them to the helm. And much to the merriment of the opposition parties and media houses he has a long list of such accusations and Prime Minister mocking theatrics, which is ironically not obscene and objectionable as it is well within the purview of freedom of speech.

Now anywhere in the world, irrespective of whether you are making sense or not, if you are a good orator, you are bound to get plenty of attention. And if you can mock, criticize and dissect someone and make people laugh out of it, you certainly attract a few more eyeballs. Modi did the same leading up to 2014, people related to it and he single-handedly became the nation’s no.1 neta. But ask him how today how difficult it is to manage that faith and the burden of humongous expectations. He might be doing a good job but today he has as many detractors and dissenters who are finding everything that he did in 2014 as sheer gimmick. So it might be easy for Kanhaiya ji to remind people of how things are not so rosy under Modi but were they picture perfect for the last 60 years, under the erstwhile leadership? Or how are things in West Bengal where his ideological political outfit (CPI) ruled for over 35 years?

Its easiest to just sit back, criticize and find problems in anything and everything one does? But not so easy to suggest few solutions to these problems. I am quite sure, the celebrated hero that Kanhaiya today is, won’t have any solutions himself to the long list of problems that he has been blaming and accusing the government for. True traits of successful politician may be, but then he has categorically denied that of any political ambitions and has even emphasized that he is just a student. If so, why don’t you focus on your studies rather than creating such a ruckus. In fact, try studying for 18 hours every day without taking a leave for the next 2 years, it might not only augur well for you and your family but will also do lot of good to our beloved nation.

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Post Script – The most unfortunate role in this entire episode has been of electronic Media. In the common good of nation, where they shouldn’t have given any credence and coverage to this entire stupidity and rather focused on the real heroes like Hanumanthapa, the lure of sensationalism and TRPs have led them to make a hero out of nothing and stoop to sad levels.

Gabbu Singh Diaries 5 | The Newbie Speaker goes on rampage.

What do you do when you miss your family, your partner or your girlfriend? In all probability, you would right away call them up or text them on Whatsapp. But what do you do when you are at work and you miss your 2 year old sweetheart son who at that point in time is in his nursery? You can neither call him nor text him (albeit for few more years, till this new gen kid as well demands for a smartphone J), all you could do is just helplessly wait for the day to end.

It’s certainly not a very good feeling and at times you really wish that you could search for your son’s contact on the Whatsapp contact list and drop him a ‘miss you’ text. And this feeling is highly exaggerated when your kid has recently started talking and you excitedly wait whole day to hear me blabber in his heavy British accent. So cow now is ‘couw’,  bear is ‘beaa’, car is ‘caa’, no is ‘nou’ , Jai Shree Ram is ‘Jey Shee Ram’, and potty is ‘yucky potty’. And this extremely funny and cute blabbering is on endlessly.

It’s quite contrasting though, that not too long ago I used to find these continuously chattering kids in a bus, train or a movie theatre very annoying. Though today when Gabbu does the same publicly, it’s hardly annoying, in fact it seems cute and funny, much to the annoyance of other bystanders, I am sure. Love is blind they say J.

But children do learn very fast and at this age what they pick the quickest is to greet everyone with ‘Hi’s’ and ‘Byes’. But it gets really embarrassing when Gabbu vociferously greets strangers with his newly learned ‘Hi ya’s’ and ‘Byes’ in the lift, bus or tubes. And the situation gets such that even the usually snobbish locals have to reciprocate to his greetings with a reluctant Hi or Bye J. A good cue to break ice with those gorgeous English ladies, may be J. But this Hi Bye syndrome has another funnier side too. Whenever he continuously persists for something that I don’t want him to buy or have, I tend to tell him that it is finished. For e.g. if he endlessly persists for Kinder Joy or say Garlic Bread, I say ‘No Avyaan it’s finished’. So in turn what he does now is every time we go past Dominos, he keeps on saying ‘Bye Garlic Bread’, ‘Bye Dominos’, assuming its already finished and same with Kinder Joy on passing through Tesco, ‘Bye Tesco’, ‘Bye Kinder Joy’ J.

And it keeps on getting funnier. Not too long ago Gabbu’s mom apparently spent a lot of time in the kitchen cooking something really sumptuous. She excitedly gave the first serving to him and expectantly asked him ‘how is it Gabbu?’ I doubt anybody could have given a much blatant response to such a question. He replied, saying ‘its yucky’, that’s not all he kept on singing it for 5 minutes, ‘it’s yucky’, ‘it’s yucky’, ‘it’s yucky’, ‘it’s yucky’ J. And by doing so the newbie speaker managed to do something that even his dad couldn’t dare to do in so many years.

And there is something funny or the other that keeps happening every day. In fact, these are the moments you look forward to after a stressful day at work or post an unwarranted tiff with someone very dear. These experiences are blissful, rejuvenating and reminiscent of the fact that how simple, easy and happy life can be. But for me the best moment of the day is when I go to pick him up from his nursery in the evening, that smile, that exhilaration on his face when he sees me coming, greets me with his accented ‘Hi ya’ and runs towards me to give a cuddle is truly priceless. It evades all the stress and emphasizes on the fact that whatever good or bad the world may think of me, at least he is the one who really waits for my arrival with such exuberance and anticipation every single day J. Unconditional love!

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Virat Kohli - The Uncharacteristic Hero!

 If you are an ardent cricket fan, having grown up watching, admiring and idolizing the likes of Tendulkar, Dravid, Laxman & Kumble, all of whom have been the epitome of determination, perseverance, humility and on-field excellence, the farthest you can accept or adjust to certain degree of aggressiveness or high headed-ness is with regards to Mr Ganguly. Anything even marginally over that is considered to be ruffian, unparliamentarily, disgraceful and un-acceptable. At least that’s how our cricketing upbringing has been. No wonder until recently, I haven’t been a Virat Kohli fan, as he has never belonged to the same school.

Ever since he became the regular feature of the national team he has exhibited all that it takes to ruffle a traditional Tendulkar/Dravid/Laxman fan. He has been consistently scoring runs (but that lot of people do) but his mannerisms and conduct have been the real bone of contention for lot of fans. His over the top celebrations after scoring a ton that were typified by a mouthful for someone or the other were truly never shown before by any of the past legends. His knack of getting into arguments and undue tussles with the opposition and even with his own teammates at times, is also very un-Indian. A true blue Indian fan has also never seen the likes of Tendulkar and Dravid focussing on getting inked or a flashing a funky hair style. Nor have we ever seen any of our past greats openly flaunting their girlfriends anywhere and everywhere they go. Perhaps, too much for an Indian fan to associate all these frills with a Legend or Legend to-be J.

But the kind of reception this guy received from the crowds at Melbourne and Sydney every time he stepped into bat or went back after his innings, made me feel nostalgic and a bit jealous too. Nostalgic, as it reminded me of the great Sachin Tendulkar and the kind of effect the legend had on the crowds, irrespective of their nationalities. And jealous as I was always under the impression that such love, adulation and respect is only meant for the great man. So naturally, if someone is so admired and look forward to, he truly is a special lad.

His consistency and statistics do speak volumes about the batting powerhouse that he is. The confidence and swagger with which he bats reminds me of Viv, his consistency and hunger for runs is reminiscent of Sachin and his grit and determination to win matches for his side is akin to what Steve Waugh used to carry in his days. He is easily amongst the very best today alongside AB, Smith, Root & Williamson and if we leave AB aside, as he is hardly human in what he does and Kohli is arguably the most prized wicket for any bowling attack today.

And the way he is going he is sure to break a lot of batting records, he might even surpass Sachin (in all likelihood in ODIs at least). And that probably is winning him more fans (including me) everyday despite his not so pleasant off field exploits. He is so damn good in what he does that he compensates for all that the purists might find unacceptable. In other words, by the sheer weight of his consistent performances, domination and match winning repertoire, he buys for himself the right to celebrate his 100s in the most extravagant way, get under the skin of the opposition even if it is uncalled for and probably get inked and sport a trendy beard too with a lot of panache J. He is a real proponent of the philosophy that as long as you are exceptionally good in whatever you are expected to do, everything else automatically becomes acceptable.

I by no means want to do a comparison between him and our all-time greats, it would be really unfair. But the manner in which the fans have accepted Kohli as their new hero, emphasizes on the fact that the game always need such Heroes to keep itself alive and buzzing. Though no player is bigger than the game but for the game itself to flourish it does need heroes, and none today is more flamboyant, more consistent and a better match winner than Kohli himself. The only hope here is that he continues to be a hero that India has been looking for and not get swayed away by the outside frills and temptations.

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Afterthought – It wasn’t so before, but now I do look forward to see Kohli perform every time he comes out to bat as he certainly looks to be the guy who tries his best to make India win. Though, I have never liked him whenever he dons the RCB jersey, not quite sure of the reason, but I really hope that this disliking as well changes pretty soon J.

2015 – An Intolerant year that was(‘nt) !

In India, the undisputed catch phrase for the year 2015 was ‘Intolerance’. An atmosphere of unrelenting intolerance was reported across most parts of the country, supposedly due to the highly objectionable policies of the ruling government. Book bans, movie bans, Maggie bans, Beef bans and bans of various other flavours, the nation was bound to get intolerant. It was indeed an eureka moment for the intelligentsia of the country who were bewildered with this never before intolerance in their routine lives. Though, the facts might suggest that all these so called attics that contributed to the 2015 intolerance have been happening for ever but then who cares and dares these facts, when there is an unrelenting, intolerable and an alarming wave of intolerance in the most tolerant country in the world J.

After all, nobody wants to get robbed of their basic rights. Be it the intelligentsia, be it the opposition or be it the common man. One and all were affected by this extreme wave and here’s a snapshot of their 2015 misery –

·          His highness Rahul Gandhi aka Pappu was so disturbed with the onslaught that he had to stay out of the country for over two months, though it’s a different matter that people like Kapil Sharma and Krushna Abhishek made merry in his absence and duly supplemented the nation with its required dose of comic relief J. But serious heights of intolerance for prince charming’s liking.

·          The cleanest and the most incorruptible man on planet earth, Sri Sri 108 Arvind ji Kejriwalji  was so damn depressed with growing intolerance in the nation that he had to travel all the way down to Patna to find solace in fodder fame Laluji’s arms. I seriously doubt any amount of compensation on Modiji’s part can repair the mental stigma that Sri Sri 108 Arvind ji Kejriwalji had to undergo due to this intolerant atmosphere in the country J.

·          Not just the political circle but even the Indian film industry was overwhelmingly disturbed with the growing intolerance in the country. No doubt, as a token of protest they churned out movies like Shandaar, Bombay Velvet and Dilwale to teach the ruling party an apt lesson for their misdeeds J.

·          The highflying authors, artists and technocrats also returned their awards to show their vehemence against the sad state of affairs in the country caused by the several bans and the supposed communal disharmony. Such was their plight that they hardly had anything left to return when the state elections were over or when Nirbhaya’s rapist was released. Epic IntoleranceJ !

·          Even the sporting fraternity was equally disturbed with the intolerance wave and even they geared up to show their dissent. The Indian Hockey team did there bit by crashing out of the world cup way too soon and the Cricket team did so by losing it out fairly easily against the Bangladeshi tigers. One and all were affected, such was the 2015 intolerance J.

·          Not just the celebrities, even my friends were affected. A friend of mine who dared to protest against the intolerant food served by his wife on a daily basis, was duly handed over the task of preparing all the 3 meals of the day by her from that day on. Another colleague of mine who dared his boss to send him to onsite immediately or be ready to face the consequences, was pretty soon serving his notice period and struggling to find a new job in the market J.

·          I wasn’t spared either, my son was so intolerant with the kind of lullaby’s I was subjecting him too that he resorted to Sunny Leone’s Baby Doll and Chaar Bottle Vodka to find solace against the great intolerance of 2015 J.

And there are hundreds of similar horror stories. I really hope that year 2016 isn’t a repeat of the intolerant year that 2015 was(‘nt). And people from all walks of society have their awards, peace and intellect duly placed in their safe custody J.

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Post Script – Such has been the dichotomy of the 2015 intolerance wave that on one hand it led the biggest leader of the country (read Modi) and also a staunch opponent of this so called idea of intolerance wave, bite the dust in the most critical elections of the year and on the other hand the same wave led the biggest movie star of the country (read SRK), also a vociferous proponent of this intolerance wave, lose a lot of moolah for his much anticipated movie J.

The 2016 Resolution Trumpet!

Another year has gone by and a new year, full of hopes and opportunities is at our door step. While we can critically analyse the year gone by, it’s also the time to look ahead and plan for the year in hand. I have this habit of taking resolutions at the start of the year, telling it to all my friends and striving towards them throughout the year. Interestingly, one of my close friend once asked me – ‘Why do you take resolutions, isn’t it childish and pompous?’ and ‘If at all you have taken your resolutions, what is the point in making so much noise about it?’ I really liked the honesty in his questions, I answered him saying, I take these resolutions as otherwise I am way too lazy to religiously pursue something I want to on an ongoing basis. And I do publish them as that keeps me in charge towards clocking my resolutions to the extent possible. His funny reply to this was, ‘as if we care about your new year resolutions’ J.

Now since he was from the ‘No resolution gang’, I also didn’t care much and rather focused on pursuing mine. But before I embark on enlisting mine for the year ahead, it’s all the more important to assess how did I fare on the ones I took last year, so here is an honest progress report -

• ·          2015 Resolution 1: To write at least 2 blogs every month- I clocked 21 (+1 technical), so missed the mark by 2. There were reasons behind this, brothers marriage, couple of India trips, lot of vacations. Nonetheless, I still believe I should have penned down a few more. I hope I do a bit better this time around
• ·          2015 Resolution 2: To read at least 6 good books in the year – I was most nervous about achieving this one, but at the end of the year I am most satisfied in exceeding my own expectations in fulfilling this resolution. I read as many as 18 books in 2015, barring couple of them, all the books I read were real good reads. I hope I maintain this momentum in 16’ tooJ
• ·          2015 Resolution 3: To gift lot of goodies to my near and dear ones – I wish I could have done more on this front, but all I did with regards to this gives me reasons enough to believe that I have successfully accomplished  this as well. My greedy near and dear ones might not give me highest of marks for their gifts but I am sure they won’t fail me on this one either J
• ·          2015 Resolution 4: To work out for at least 150 days in the year – O yes, the 150 day target was successfully met, the last quarter of the year wasn’t a glorified one though, thanks to a marriage at home and the festive season beckoning. But net-net I did meet my expectations on the personal health front as well
• ·          2015 Resolution 5: Commit myself to do at least one instance of charity -  Sadly, I failed to achieve this one. Not because of the lack of intent on my part but mainly due to my procrastination habit. And of course, a failure on this resolution pains me the most. Though, I forward this to the new year and resolve to accomplish it without adding it to my 16’ resolution list, by the 1^st half of the year

So it might not be a 100% glorious year in terms of accomplishing all my set resolutions but I guess I can still keep my head high and focus on setting the bar high for the year ahead. Since I wasn’t able to do a substantial charity deed last year, I vow to do that this year. I am not adding it to the resolution list, as not doing it this time around won’t be an option. So here goes the list for 2016 –

• ·          2016 Resolution 1: To write at least 2 blogs every month, plus 4 technical blogs in the year- For my immense passion for writing, this one stays as is with a minor addition. I have made this addition to also help me learn new things on my professional front as well. Now I have narrowly missed the mark on this resolution 2 years in the running, so I am all the more resolute in clocking it well this time around J
• ·          2016 Resolution 2: To read at least 12 good books in the year – Given a glorious reading year that I had in 15’, I have doubled the no. for this year and that makes it reading one good book every month. I well and truly hope I continue my reading streak and at least pursue what I have targeted for
• ·          2016 Resolution 3: To go on 1 solo vacation this year – Now I think this for sure would be the most audacious of resolutions that I am setting for the year but then that itself adds to fun of clocking this one around. So one solo vacation for the year, ‘as’ and ‘when’ and ‘if’ I do it would ensure some quality ‘me time’ for me this year. Howsoever, tough it might read and sound, I did it once last year by going to Scotland all on my own, so that gives me some hope J
• ·          2016 Resolution 4: To work out for at least 150 days in the year and giving away on Pizza for the year – So the 150 day workout target, that roughly translates into a minimum of 3 day workout in the week, stays. Stays to ensure I am up for my fitness regimen. An additional twist to the fitness resolution is on giving away on Pizza for the year. Not that I eat it on a very large scale but I do love Pizzas, so giving away on them would surely save me a truck load of kilo Calories in 16’ J
• ·          2016 Resolution 5: Spending some quality personal time with parents and old friends -  Off late, this hasn’t been happening due to my erratic travel patterns and work schedule and most of the catching up that’s happening is on the virtual(Whatsapp, Viber, Skype) world. I really look forward to spending some personal time with not only my parents but also my old time friends, whom I could hardly otherwise meet

So the goals have been set and the ticker for the year has also started, it’s time now to get going on each of them. The fun lies in not only feeling good about attaining the thought off resolutions but more so in basking in the self-growth that happens in the process of attaining these self-set milestones. A lot of small but addendum targets would also be chased through throughout the year, like, watching more and more movies and plays in the theaters, somehow, anyhow being in attendance at 2016 Wimbledon Championships, trying out on more and more global cuisines and last but not the least spending a bit more on myself J.

Happy New Year 2016!

Be Resolute J

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What’s in the name? Some fun, some pain.

What’s in a name? Shakespeare says, ‘a rose by any other name would smell as sweet’. Really, Mr William? Ask me. Every time I go home (one or twice a year) one discussion that I always have with my mom is on my did she name me ‘Kinshuk’  and the associated miseries that I have with this supposedly beautiful and well thought of name, that she decided upon with a lot of pride. She loves my name and feels that those who can’t pronounce it right are the real fools. Well, it’s not that I don’t like the name either, but I would be lying if I say that I am not annoyed with the way a lot of intelligent and learned folks say it grossly incorrectly. And this has been the trend right from the childhood.

The most commonly misused one – ‘Kaushik’. I don’t know how Kinshuk and Kaushik read and sound similar but even the most respected and learned teachers of my school used to call me as Kaushik on several occasions. And those were the days when I also had my Dad’s name included in my full name, so my attendance register name used to be Kinshuk Sharad Awasthi. Now a lot of south Indian teachers literally struggled to call out my name correctly, on occasions they were so confused that took the easiest of the 3 as their lucky pick in calling out my name. So on days I was Kaushik, on others Sharad and on some Awasthi. There were also some horror moments when the otherwise simple reading names like Sharad and Awasthi were also pronounced as Sharda and Aswathi. Such was my plight on those days that if my roll no. was 15 I stood by the time roll no. 13 was called out and shouted ‘Present Maam’ even before the teacher made a horrendous attempt to call out my name incorrectly J.

The royal classico’ – ‘Kanishk’. A generous bunch has also been calling me as Kanishk. Giving me a false sense of hope that somehow I am connected to the good old Kanishka dynasty about which we read about in our history lessons. No clue again, how Kinshuk and Kanishk read and sound similar but probably these people took their history lessons way too seriously or they hardly care about reading my name rightly. Interestingly, when I correct them with the right name, some blatantly say ‘o it’s pretty much the same’.  What a way to grace someone’s name J.

The tongue twister – ‘Kinushk’. Kinushk, as some folks call me, probably feel is better rhyming and more correct than rather awkward Kinshuk. I do try to correct them with the right name though, but they are hardly convinced, firstly with Kinshuk and secondly on why the hell am I named something so complex J.

Ahmedabad fame - ‘Kinsukh (bhai)’. Now I don’t blame those who call me Kinsukh as much, as there are a considerable amount of people who pronounce ‘Sh’ as ‘S(a)’. Though, by that logic too it should be Kinsuk, but the Kinsukh way is probably their way of adding some happiness in my life J.

The king of parrots – ‘Kingshuk’. Howsoever, annoyed I might get with people calling me with all the wrong and weird names but their generosity never ends. Kingshuk, is another prime example, the extra ‘G’ generously adds that touch of royalty and promotes me to a king. But hardly do these people know that ‘Shuk’ also means parrot and their unintentional sense of generosity has makes me the King of Parrots J.

Dubai return – ‘Yusuf’. The biggest struggle I always have is with the marketing and sales folks who call randomly on mobile to sell all those nonsensical schemes and products and to make it worse for me they also make a mockery of my name. More often than not, the moment they call my name incorrectly I hang up saying ‘sorry wrong number’ and I keep doing that till they call out my name correctly. But the most comic incident happened recently when one of these marketing folks called me ‘Yusuf’. I genuinely thought that it’s a wrong no. but after he kept calling me twice thrice and even read out my right mobile no. I inquisitively asked him, ‘Sir how on earth are Kinshuk and Yusuf similar?’ His out of the box response was ‘Sir, they sound similar’. I could do nothing but to marvel on his brilliance J.

And then there is a streak of other awkward names too. I have always felt that people from the west incorrectly calling out Indian names as still understandable. But people from our country doing that, is actually surprising. ‘Kinshuk’ for that matter is still not a very common name and many people struggle to call it out correctly in the first go. But what I always find unacceptable and surprising is how they are not able to even pronounce it correctly after reading it from a piece of paper or from the screen.  Forget that, I have even got email replies where in people couldn’t even correctly copy my name from the email trail below. That is certainly unpardonable and my mom would certainly not take the blame for such laxities J.

I remember how I used to fight with my mom on why didn’t she name me ‘Rocky’, ‘Vicky’ or ‘Jacky’ because as a kid I used to find those names very macho and fancy. On second thoughts now, I feel a rather simple sounding name like ‘Ram’, ‘Shyam’ or ‘Mohan’ would have done the trick too J. Though, as a counterproductive measure, I have resorted to calling myself as Mr Awasthi to people I feel might struggle with Kinshuk. In normal circumstances, I would have done this say 5 or 10 years down the line but with the kind of mockery my name has experienced already, I decided to uncle out a bit too early J.

And now let somebody say, what’s in the name J.

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Post Script – I was equally worried on how my son would struggle to call out my name when he starts speaking. Eventually, when he started speaking few months back and when he actually called out my name, I heard it as ‘Tinshuk’. I was sad but pretty soon realized that he is actually calling me ‘Kinshuk’ the clearest anybody would have ever called out the name. Redemption!

The tricky art of theatrics.

Today we live in a world of superlative competition across all walks of life and there is an aggressive craving for all round visibility thanks to a wide array of communication avenues at disposal. The u

rge to attract attention at any cost has never been so imminent. Though, it may not be malicious on all accounts, it ranges from hilarity to stupidity and even outrageous on some occasions. Theatrics today has become synonymous to shortcut to success, though it’s not always that it translates into a sustained success churning device.

Today, in the world of politics, Modi is treated as the undisputed king of Theatrics. He single handedly brought his party to the power last year through his big ticket political rallies, over the top dream selling and countless power packed theatrical digs at the opposition. This was in total contrast to the modus operandi of the yesteryear stalwarts like Vajpayee and Advani, no wonder he is facing a tough time matching up to the expectations of the people who were expecting quick fire results in lieu of the promises he made in wooing them few months back. So where a well-organized theatrics game plan is good to help you succeed, you need have the meat to back your theatrics to enjoy the sustained trust of the people who helped you succeed. Though, the rules of the game here have changed very fast and it won’t be unfair to say that today Mr Kejriwal has taken over Modi and usurped his crown of King Theatrics J.

In the modern times, sports are not just a medium to show your athletic prowess but they are also a powerful medium to enchant and entertain the audiences. So where a few decades back traits like determination, perseverance and discipline defined one as a successful sportsman, today one has to be entertaining, eye catching and theatrical in addition to the on-field excellence to be the public’s and media’s darling. The Tendulkar’s and Dravids of the 90s who were idolized for their impeccable technique and undisputed conduct have been replaced by the tattoo laden, spiked hair and ear pierced Kohlis and Dhawans of today. Not to say, that the tattoos, earrings and spikes of the latter are a deterrent in their performances but they do characterize the theatrical needs of today’s generations that are equally important as the on field excellence. It’s a different thing that these theatrical props do come under the scrutiny when there on field performances dip J.

The story isn’t much different in the corporate setup. Gone are the days of going to office, doing your job with full gusto and making a mark by your sheer work ethics and discipline. Today, doing ones work is one thing but all the theatrics that keeps you in limelight is another. Invariably, you would find people around you in office who would do anything to show how good they are either by unnecessarily asking mundane questions in already boring meetings or by sending innocuous emails to make their presence felt by copying all the big shots in ‘cc’ or by anyhow and somehow ensuring that there supervisor knows that how late they have been working in the day or even on the weekends. So do these theatrics actually work? Mostly not but unfortunately on some occasions they do J.

If there is one such trade that should have theatrics in its DNA, it has to be CINEMA. But all theatrics and no content can also make any cinema seem very incomplete. For instance, you don’t find much of theatrics in most of Raju Hirani’s flicks or same might even hold good for yesteryear Hrishikesh Mukherjee classics but does it hold good for most of what the likes of Shahrukhs, Salmans or Rohit Shettys of today are churning out these days. The latter are larger than life, full of razzmatazz and superlative theatrics and consequently epic successes in terms of box office collections as well but do they even provide the quality and sense of contentment to its audiences as the former have been doing for so long so efficiently? Alas, no.

Being theatrical might not be as bad as it usually sounds or is made out to be. Presence of theatrics is equally essential too, in fact there is some amount of theatrics needed in all walks of our lives to instill some spark and zeal in our otherwise monotonous lives. As without an ounce of theatrics no boyfriend can woo her girlfriend, no Modi can become the PM and no ABD can be the world's best batsman.  But unless there is a balance and some real content and meat to back the overwhelming theatrics, it will always seems to be an overdose.

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London Diaries 7 | Modi matches up to the Jackson, Madonna & Man U Fever!

Friday the 13^th (Nov 2015) was a much anticipated day for a lot of Indian origin Londoners, it was the day of rendezvous with their vastly popular Prime Minister. The buzz for this event was immense and the build-up and preparations update across the social media made it seem all the more grand. Though, this was at the backdrop of a heavy pounding that Modi’s BJP has recently experienced in the Bihar state elections and also amidst a supposedly orchestrated wave of intolerance in the country, but that political discussion and the debate around the same is for some other day. For now I would focus on the highlights of the event that was mostly driven by a hysteric crowd of nearly 70,000 jubilant fans who braved the chilly weather to be in attendance at the historic Wembley Stadium to be a part of an extravaganza.

The Friendly Banter. They say it all started last year in the US, when Prime Minister Modi met Prime Minister Cameron after Modi’s historic Madisson Square speech. Mr Cameron then, jocularly challenged Mr Modi to replicate this public hysteria in London and dared him to fill the iconic Wembley stadium to capacity. At that point in time, Modi also accepted that challenge, unaware of the challenging times he will have to face in the next 15 odd months. Though, it was a friendly banter between two counterparts but deep down even Modi would have wanted to come out triumphant on this one. And as the day arrived, despite a not so congenial environment back home and with traces of protest out here in London too, it was a pleasant surprise to see the UK’s biggest stadium packed almost to capacity, all set to embrace the most popular ‘chai wala’ from India J.

The Grand setting. I have been to lot of iconic stadiums in the past, mostly to witness a Soccer or a Cricket match in play but Wembley has been by far the grandest of them all. And the scale and quality of preparations that were made for this event made it seem all the more grandiose. The humongous and beautiful ‘rangolis’ depicting the flags of the two countries, the quarter of the stadium ornamented in the tri-color backdrop, a series of beautifully rehearsed and executed cultural performances and the euphoria of 70,000 fans cheering in for their man in a foreign country made it all seem unbelievably magnanimous.

Reverse Intolerance. As were getting ready for the start of the event, we were contemplating on our seating position in the stadium. With lot of friends in attendance, we had the luxury to pick and choose on our seating position. So when I came back from my recce of a possible location in the stadium and briefed my friend (who was in the payment queue of a coffee shop) on the pros and cons of that probable location, we were taken aback with the response of an elderly stranger who was also in the adjacent queue. I came back and told my friend that these seats are better as ‘ Modi jahan khada hoge, wo yahan se better dikhega’. The moment I said this the elderly gentleman snapped back at us saying– ‘Khada hoga?’, ‘khade honge bolo’, ‘Pant Pradhan hain wo desh ke’, ‘khada hoga bolte hain, tameez dekho inki’. We could hardly say a word  to him as we were not only taken aback by this sudden outpour of fury but also by the weight of the word ‘Pant Pradhan’. That wasn’t all, he not only left the queue cursing our supposed rude behaviour against his excellency but he even told about our indecency to his family members who were waiting outside. All we could do was to rush pass them with our heads down in shame and address Mr Modi as ‘Modiji’ and things like ‘Modiji aa gaye hain’, ‘Modiji khade hain’, ‘Modiji kamaal hain’ for the rest of the evening J. It an experience of never before bout of reverse intolerance against Mr Modi J.

Unexpected foreign presence. The crowd in attendance was all Indian, mostly gujju bhais from across the UK but there were few whites as well. We were pretty perplexed by their presence as to what interest do they have in listening and witnessing a leader of some other country. Agreeable, that he is a master orator and keeps the audiences glued with his speeches but even then to dedicate half of your day for a foreign leader was quite an effort. We contemplated on lot of reasons behind their presence but the most probable reason that we all agreed upon was their lure to experience the jam packed Wembley Stadium for free, a tour to which itself costs around 30£ J. Quite a gujju way of making the most of an opportunity J.

The Mutual admiration society. Mr Modi was introduced on the stage by Prime Minister Cameron, who had lot of good things to say about the former, so much so that if he had to vote in India in 2019, it would be a no-brainer as to who will he vote for J. He even borrowed Modi’s ‘Achhe Din’ phrase and played it to the gallery by taking a step further by declaring that under Modi’s leadership, ‘Achhe din zarur aenge’, though the 70,000 crowd went ballistic by this remark, Mr Modi was found blushing in the background J. When Mr Modi took stage he returned the favor by heaping praise on Mr Cameron, it was like a debt paid then and there. But what stood out the most was Mr Cameron staying the entire length of Mr Modi’s speech and acknowledging Modi’s connect with the audiences lot of times. A mutual admiration society they say, may be a potential threat to Modi-Obama bromance too J

The lame jokes. It’s not a hidden fact that Mr Modi is a master orator who plays to the joys of the audiences. Most of the anecdotes or analogies that he leverages in his speech are so interesting that even his detractors are pushed to marvel over them. Though, there were couple of instances where we found his analogies rather lame and boring, one such instance was when he tried connecting the ‘rupee bond’ launch with the UK’s James Bond and Brooke Bond (tea), a fairly bad attempt to link the two cultures. Possibly a rare instance of badly used analogy by the master orator J.

Usual pot-shots and the public exhilaration. It won’t be an unfair assessment if we say that Modi’s witty remarks against the mighty Gandhi’s during the 2014 general elections was one of the key reasons that helped him gain immense popularity among the masses. And he has always kept up to that tradition of taking pot shots at the opposition leaders, irrespective of the venue, much to the joy of the audiences. This time it was no different, though there were no direct remarks or ‘Shehzaade quips’. But it was done in a way that got the audiences on their feet in total exhilaration, as if they have all been waiting for this all day long.

Cracker of a close. As with any successful speech, Mr Modi’s concluded his speech with a bevy of lucrative announcements and assurances on a bright future under his leadership. The public erupted in joy and his concluding ‘Bharat Mata ki Jai’ chants made the atmosphere overwhelmingly patriotic. But the highlight of his presence was when he took a full lap of the huge stadium and greeted and cheered the public who have waited for hours to soak in the Modi euphoria. The closing fireworks that lit up the London skies were just the perfect icing on the cake that summed up a perfectly composed evening.  

People might have varying views on Modi’s way of functioning and brand his governance as just being theatrical and lacking meat. But if you were in Wembley that day you would have got the real feel of Modi the rockstar. The media back in India has already declared (and so has the recent poll results) that the Modi tsunami is now a thing of past. But the real mood of the Modi in Wembley was aptly captured by a headline of a news channel – After Manchester United, Michael Jackson and Madonna mania, Modi fever grips Wembley. J

Well and truly the biggest Modi show outside of India! An experience worth cherishing for a long time.

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Those good old days and stupidity…

They say the best days of your life are your childhood days and rightly so. Those days are the best days and you cherish them and envy them for rest of your life for a variety of reasons. One significant reason amongst all, that keeps you longing for them are the funny little imitating bits we all have done as kids and teenagers. Everyone has had their favourites and role models be it actors, sportspersons, artists or elder members of the family that we have always to some extent tried enacting in an attempt to be like them, in whatever capacity possible. And now when we think about it, it all seems so funny and hilarious but definitely worth cherishing. My areas of interest have always been around sports and movies so have been my favourites and my imitating attics during my teenage years, much against my mom’s wishes though who wanted my interests to range in the field of arts J. Here are few of the dramatic and over the top bits I can recall –

I remember during my school days we used to play cricket for around 6-7 hours a day, it used to start in the early morning hours and continued till the time Sun got really unbearable and then resumed again in the evening till it became pitch dark. So  those were the days when my hot favorite happened to be Md Azharuddin. I was a big Azhar fan and he still remains one of my all-time favorites for all his silken batting prowess, style and charisma. Though, it was quite unthinkable to match his wrist work or batting master class on the field, I remember doing a lot of things to be like him otherwise. The batting stance was imbibed on his style, the collars were always up and standing like he used to keep, the walking swagger was impeccably matched to his style and not to forget his stupendous dives and back flip throws to the stumps. Funnily, hardly any back flip throws were on target and those heroic dives on not so grassy grounds only contributed in bruised knees and elbows J. So what, for me he was and will always be one of the first style icons to done the Indian jersey.

Sachin Tendulkar was a default favorite in those days(years/decades) and every kid wanted to be Sachin. For that matter more often than not if you were batting and facing a bowler you ought to think yourself as Sachin. Though, it was a different thing to be tenth of as good as he was but he for sure was the perfect role model. So batting style aside, his groin tucking funny habit also aside and so also lot of his peculiar attics aside, one thing that I picked up from him and to an extent still follow was his coming out and looking towards the sky and paying obeisance to the almighty before embarking on a new innings. I remember I started doing that before going in for any and every important exam by leaving home and coming out and looking for the sun or the skies as a mark of remembering god before getting started with something really serious and important. So apart from 100 other reasons that has made this man as every ones unanimous favorite, this is one bit that I picked from him and continue to do so J.

Shane Warne is another champion that I have always admired and have been a huge fan of, not only for his cricketing genius but also for his larger than life image. He was in true sense a genius, a juggler, a magician and as he calls himself a thorough entertainer. Nobody ever spun it like him and nobody could ever kept us all enchanted and bewitched like him. So yes, in my school days and also while playing with cousins outside our house I also resorted to leg spin, it hardly spun for me to be honest but the bowling action was a ditto. Five strolling walking steps to the stumps, looking straight into batsman eyes, keeping him guessing and rolling over that right arm with an intent to deliver the ball of the century J. Mr Warne you truly rock and will always do.

Movies in India have always been a rage and for kids my age Khans have been ruling the roost since early 90s. Salman and Shahrukh were the ones who invariably used to feature in everybody’s favorite list. SRK wasn’t as much a laughing stock then as he is now, in fact was a rage among the girls. And guys as well did use to copy his mannerism in schools and colleges in wooing their girlfriends. He was my favorite then but thankfully enough, I didn’t do anything as stupid to avoid blushes now J. But I do remember buying his ‘COOL’ locket that he flashed in Kuch Kuch Hota Hai, much to the embarrassment of my parents and above all myself J. Something similar happened when Salman killed it by his skating stunts in ‘Patthar ke Phool’, it so deeply impacted me that I took over to skating quite seriously and did reasonably well in learning that too J.

Thinking about such old time memories makes you smile, feel embarrassed and long for those moments so very much. How we wish our lives could still be so simple, uncluttered and driven by such innocuous things as they were then during our childhood and teenage days. Long live such memories and wish we could once again do something as stupid, all over again.

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