After having completed his routine chore of stalking his
exes and sending friend requests to random (apparently gorgeous females) you
may know suggestions, Jo was desperately trying to find ways to keep
himself engaged when something really strange happened. ‘Fancy a coffee?’
a text message from an unknown number flashed on top of his smartphone screen
and this was enough to not only lift his testosterone levels but also lifted
him from his lying down posture to a yogic posture on his sofa cum bed.
While there was an instant urge to respond to that text, a thousand thoughts started reverberating in Jo’s head – Why is she using text messaging in today’s world of whatsapp? May be she sent it to me by mistake and I should ignore it? What if it is one of those cheap dating sites luring him into a trap? Or what if she is actually a he, one of my mischievous friend pulling off a prank to trap me as a laughing stock of the group?
Despite this mental brouhaha, Jo wasn’t the one to let go of this lucrative opportunity of having potentially the best coffee of his life without a thorough due diligence. He instantly checked for this number in the true caller app on his smartphone to figure out that the number is locally registered for someone named Kiran. This was enough for Jo’s testosterone levels to further skyrocket and plummet the caffeine levels in his system to new lows, though after a lot of deliberation he resorted to playing it very safe and responded to that text with just a ‘Today?’
The next 5 minutes seemed like 5 years went in repentance, bombarded by a million adverse thoughts like what if a group of my friends have bought a new number and registered it under a false name just to frame me, what if it is a scam to extort money from innocent souls like me or even worse what if it is some male version of Kiran fooling around? Wish I wasn’t as desperate in responding to that text! Though on the 6th minute, this barrage of negative thoughts was broken by response to Jo’s text, ‘wont it get cold, if not today?’
And this was enough to elevate Jo to cloud 9, giving him enough confidence to smartly navigate through rest of the conversation –
Jo: fair enough, filter or latte?
Kiran: cheesy, not in the mood for filter today;)
Jo: latte it is then, where where?
Kiran: usual.
Jo: nah, somewhere new please?
Kiran: cafe central!
Jo: coolio, 7?
Kiran: be there please.
Jo’s world turned upside down in flat 30 minutes and he could envisage a world of opportunities from his date which was due in just over an hour. Without worrying about so many unknowns like how will I recognize her, what will I talk to her etc., he got ready in a flash and reached the café by quarter to 7. He took an empty corner table for two and expectantly looked at every young gorgeous single girl entering the café. After having spent 45 minutes and feeling ditched by 6 stunning damsels, he took out his phone and restlessly texted back ‘been waiting at the corner table for over an hour now, are you still on with the plan?’
Meanwhile, completely unnoticed, someone quietly served a large latte on Jo’s table along with a copy of bill receipt. Slightly surprised by this act but mostly engrossed on his phone, Jo’s hope for a response to his text kept dying with every sip of this rich aromatic coffee. Finally, after having spent a good part of his evening waiting for this elusive date, Jo decided to leave the café by paying off the bill. Though, what he found on the bill receipt swept him off his feet –
Date – 08/01
Table - #11
Served by – Kiran
Item – Café Latte’
Price – 325/-
Café Central – fancy a coffee?
Jo desperately looked around to see a female barista but found all the baristas in the café to be male. Caffeine high and testosterone depleted, he quietly left the café with a sheepish smile and a thought to keep this rather strange evening his own sweet little secret. Only to be greeted by another text message late in the night – Mr Joginder, hope you enjoyed the coffee date – powered by Truecaller, data driven analytics.
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