The Demonetization Storm – Behind the scenes parody.

“This is a work of fiction - any resemblance to actual persons or event living or dead is purely intentional”

This is a small behind the scenes parody about the recently announced biggest demonetization drive of the century, which has shaken the entire nation, especially the political class. The key characters involved in these conversations are-

Mr Moti – Jumla King of India, travel junkie, also works as the Prime Minister in free time.

Mr Tetley – One of the renowned lawyers of the country, claims himself to be the Finance Minister of the country.

Mr Susu Swami – Julian Assange of India, owner of Gandhi Leaks.

Mr Baijnath Singh – Home Minster of India, better known as Ninda Mama for his ability to criticize anybody and everybody for anything untoward.

Mr DhaaGa – Prime Minister in waiting since 1970, India’s entry to World IQ competition.

Mr Farjiwal – Flag bearer of the Harish Chandra clan, born with a motto to oppose Mr Moti till the last breath, also the Cheap Minister of Delhi.

Ms Samta Sadisabji – The mercurial head of state of West Bengal, aspires to be the leader of a secular front, most concerned about the poor of the country.

Mr Sanak Power – Shrewd veteran politician, once a kingmaker, now a homemaker, makes appearance only during the major national events.

Mr Malham Singh – Former Chief Minister of the largest state of the country, struggling for a firm hold on his party against his own son.

Ms Dayawati  - Former Chief Minister of the largest state of the country, better known for her huge statues across the state, proclaims herself to be the messiah of the Dalits.

Nov 8^th 2016, 8 PM, New Delhi - Prime Minister Moti addresses the nation and announces the biggest demonetization drive of the country by banning Rs 500 & Rs 1000 notes from midnight, with a firm vision to eradicate black money.

Excerpts

Mr Moti (to the nation)– We have been working on this project with full secrecy from last 8 months and only a handful were aware and involved in this project.

Mr Tetley (to Mr Susu Swami) – I am the finance minister of the country and I had no clue about such a high profile project until yesterday!

Mr Susu Swami – Finance Minister?? Oh yes! That’s surprising, if you are the FM, you should have been involved in this project.

Mr Susu Swami – Nonetheless, I know all the details, as I was the one who proposed this historic idea to Moti.

Mr Tetley – Don’t brag, I got a whatsapp message from Baijnath Singh that it was some NGO guy, Mr Bokil whose 9 min meeting got extended to a 2 hour seminar and Moti got started thereafter.

Mr Susu Swami – Mr Bokil is my guy and he also has a count of all the Rs. 500 & Rs. 1000 notes that Dhaaga and his family hold. I will expose them in few days.

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Nov 8^th 2016, 8.29 PM, New Delhi – Mr Farjiwal calls up Mr Dhaaga

Mr Farjiwal (to Mr Dhaaga) – Are you watching Moti’s new bomb against black money and corruption?

Mr Dhaaga – No man, I am busy with Chota Bheem Childrens Day weeks special marathon episode on Pogo. What happened, all ok?

Mr Farjiwal – It was surgical strike last month and now it’s an even bigger dhamaka. He is making his Jumlas true one by one, leave aside 2019, now even 2024 looks uncertain for us.

Mr Dhaaga – Can’t be true man, I can’t wait to be the PM for so long, Sanak uncle told me he will make me PM by 2019 for sure.

Mr Farjiwal – Then do something, we need to oppose it right away.

Mr Dhaaga – But how can you oppose it, you are the self-anointed crusader against corruption and black money.

Mr Farjiwal – That’s right, how can he hijack my agenda. We have to oppose it and make it dirty as soon as possible.

Mr Dhaaga – I don’t know man what should I do, let me talk to Sanak uncle for ideas.

Mr Farjiwal – Ok fine, I will arrange for a press conference to misguide people and downplay Moti’s new gimmick.

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Nov 9^th 2016 - Headlines

Mr Sanak Power appreciates Moti’s demonetization move.

Mr Ganna Hazare applauds Moti’s sincerity to fight corruption.

Top industrialists and sportsmen welcome Moti’s anti - black money crusade.

Baba Kamdev appeals to the nation to support Moti in his fight against black money.

Ms Samata Sadisabji calls demonetization a draconian move, a curse for the poor.

Nov 9^th 2016, 10.15 AM, New Delhi – Mr Dhaaga calls up Mr Sanak Power

Mr Dhaaga (To Mr Sanak Power) – Sanak Uncle, did you see what Moti did? Can you please issue a statement against him and guide me on my next move?

Mr Sanak Power – Son, I have just issued a congratulatory message for his decision in the media.

Mr Dhaaga – How can you do that? What about your own treasure, how will you take care of that?

Mr Sanak Power – I was aware of this and I have already taken care of it. And appreciating him was important to keep the focus away from me.

Mr Dhaaga – Very clever. How about me?

Mr Sanak Power (consolatory tone) – You can’t be clever now son, you are too old for it!

Mr Dhaaga (furious) – I meant, how about me, what should I do now, he has once again stolen all the limelight.

Mr Sanak Power – Walk to the nearest bank branch, stand in the queue with the mob, let them click some selfies, criticize the government for poor management and ask your party workers to fake support few elderly in the queue.

Mr Dhaaga – You mean the same trick that we played out by eating at farmers hut and meeting the grieving soldiers family?

Mr Sanak Power – Yes, my son.

Mr Dhaaga – You are a rock star uncle, I will certainly give you a plump portfolio in 2019.

Mr Sanak Power – Amen!

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Nov 9^th 2016, 6.15 PM, New Delhi – Mr Farjiwal holds a press conference in wake of the economic emergency in the country

Reporter – Mr Cheap Minister, Mr Moti’s move is historic, what are your thoughts on it?

Mr Farjiwal – This is a plot against the poor. Mr Moti’s sole aim is to harass the poor people of India.

Reporter – But Sir, this move is revolutionary and will help is curbing the corruption and also fight against the black money menace. Even your guru Mr. Ganna Hazare has backed it.

Mr Farjiwal – Ganna is innocent. Banning 500 & 1000 notes can never curb black money, real black money is stashed outside India in the foreign banks.

Reporter – Sir, in 2014 when Mr Moti requested the European banks to cooperate with him in unearthing the black money, you professed that the real black money is stashed inside the country. You are contradicting yourself now.

Mr Farjiwal – Mr Moti is working for the NATAs, Badani and Dambanis, he doesn’t care about the poor.

Reporter – Sir you haven’t answered by question.

Mr Farjiwal – Ignores.

Reporter – Sir you should join hands with Mr Moti and support him as you have positioned yourself as  the brand ambassador of anti-corruption movement in India.

Mr Farjiwal – I can’t join hands with communal forces whose only agenda is to cause inconvenience to the people by means of riots and unlawful situations.

Reporter – Sir, riots and unlawful situation? But there are absolutely no news of any unrest anywhere in the country and people are fully supportive of this move.

Mr Farjiwal – Yes I would like to thank my party workers for it. We are keeping a close eye on the law and order situation in the country and our workers will ensure that despite Mr Moti’s ulterior motive the situation remains in control.

Press conference ends

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Nov 10^th 2016 - Headlines

Unreserved Bank of India confirms a collection of over Rs 1 Lakh crore corpus in the first 2 days of the demonetization drive.

Government admits lack of preparation in the smooth execution of demonetization drive, pledges to work towards improving public inconvenience.

Mr Moti addresses a rally in Goa, declares demonetization drive a huge success, thanks the nation and warns of more strict measures in the days to come.

Ms Dayawati criticizes Mr Moti for his inhuman move.

Nov 10^th 2016, 8.20 PM, New Delhi, All Party Meet to formulate a strategy against Moti’s Demonetization storm

Mr Dhaaga – We can’t let Moti ruin our political careers by killing us with one blow after the other every few days. If this goes on, we won’t even have 4 of our 44 seats!

Mr Sanak Power – But we can’t blindly oppose anything and everything, certainly not this drive as this will show us all in a bad light.

Ms Samata Sadisabji – This is against the poor, we all have to unite to work together in the common interest of our nation.

Mr Sanak Power – Madam, relax you are not in front of the cameras, hold on to your drama.

Mr Farjiwal – We have to play the law and order card, give it a communal flavor and spread the fire across the nation.

Mr Dhaaga – But there is hardly any unrest, people are happily queuing up and are smiling for selfies.

Mr Malham Singh – Someone tell me, what I should do with all the note bundles that my party men have been working on for last 3 months in preparation for the state elections?

Ms Dayawati – Drain them down, it was anyways my turn to be the CM. You forgot our odd even formula?

Mr Farjiwal – O come on, what OUR formula? It is my formula!

Mr Malham Singh – Son, relax. You focus on preparing for Moti’s next bonanza, this deal is already a lost one.

Mr Sanak Power – I second Malham, we can’t cross the line on this one, it will expose us all.

Mr Dhaaga – But I will be the PM in 2019, right?

All (on chorus) – Certainly :).

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kin…

The Great Indian 'Demon' Revolution.

All through our lives we have read about the great revolutions of the past centuries that have changed the course of nations and world in general. And at the back of our mind we have always envisaged them as something fictitious or a tale best suited to glorify our history books. But with the ongoing demonetization drive spearheaded by Prime Minister Modi,  the 125 crores people strong nation has by default become a part of one of the most momentous revolution to have ever taken place in India.

A big step, if not ‘THE’ step to tame the menace of black money, but surely a bold step in the right direction which none of his predecessors have dared to take. Expectedly, as the trend has been in the last 2.5 years, a strong segment of media and opposition is blindly opposing it zestfully, irrespective of the long term cure that this revolution will bring to our long ailing  corrupt system, they are more keen to play the literal role of an opposition, which per them is to ‘oppose’. Now if you look at it from a neutral perspective, it would have been so easy for Mr Modi to not undertake this herculean and rather wrath-inviting task and still got re-elected in 2019, not by the virtue of his supposedly good work (good as compared to what his predecessors have delivered ) but by the sheer incapability and lack of presence of a strong challenger to his throne. Despite that he still took a plunge, which in itself is an indicator of his intent, vision and passion to do good for the nation.

Now there is a section in our society who has invariably discounted, laughed off and down played whatever new or commendable initiative he has taken ever since he took oath. And that is to a good extent acceptable too because I for myself also discounted or downplayed whatever little good the erstwhile Manmohan Singh government did. But there are certain things which are too good to be true and on the face value seem unbelievably perfect to be happening in Indian context and as a responsible citizen of this country one should support and respect such initiatives irrespective of their inherent loyalties. And the mantra of a true rivalry and sportsmanship states that it is wise to concede and acknowledge the opponent if he has done something extraordinarily good, blind criticism on anything and everything only does harm to oneself.

So for those disregarding the demonetization by stating that this isn’t the 1^st of its kind and this was already done once in last 70s, do they even know that our economy wasn’t even tenth of what it is today, the scale of execution is several times higher and irrespective of 1^st time or 10^th time, isn’t it a good exercise which should have been done say 10-15-20 years back? Is it necessary to bring up the 2^nd time rhetoric rather than simply appreciating this bold move on its face value and moving on?

For those who are focusing on the inconvenience caused to the common masses due to lack of proper planning, isn’t this 50 day inconvenience worth the larger good it will do to our corrupt system? And as a matter of fact the Prime Minister has himself admitted that there will be inconvenience due to the scale of this operation and inherent inefficiencies in our system but we should collectively sail through, keeping an eye on the long term benefits this temporary inconvenience is causing.

Those who are discounting this mega drive by lamenting that this will not curb or eradicate the black money menace, should pay heed to the fact that only in the 1^st four days of this exercise over one lakh crore rupees of black money has already come into the mainstream banking system. Can you imagine what good can be done through such a corpus for the all-round development of our society? Quite certainly, it would only be a fraction of what actually exists, but isn’t it a good starting point? Or shall we not start the treatment, assuming that this treatment wont fully cure us in one go?

People might say that it has been hastily planned and it should have been done in a more phased manner. But in retrospective it all seems very sequential - opening of Jan Dhan accounts, linkage of Aadhar card for subsidies, excise duty on jewelry, continuous pressure to declare your unaccounted wealth etc. This was bound to happen! And interestingly as the PM says there is more to come, much to the glee and relief of the poor and diligent tax payers like me and to the misery of those who have been looting and not paying taxes for last so many decades. And for the proponents of the phased execution of this exercise, if at all this could have been achieved successfully, it had to be done as ruthlessly as they are doing it now. Yes, they could have done better to improve certain operational issues that are causing inconvenience to the masses, but in the longer run they are inconsequential with regards to the objective we are heading to achieve.

These are changing times for our nation and for a change our nation is changing for good :). Like it or not, we are under the leadership of a man who is hell bent to change the system which has been ailing, inefficient and lackadaisical  for decades. He has a clear vision in his mind and he is tactfully working towards implementing it. And for those who have been discounting and ridiculing him as a ‘jumlebaaz’ all these years, truly and surely know his worth in gold by now :). He is here to stay, he will make his stay count and I am proud to have elected him as my Prime Minister.

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kin…

Post Script – Mr Modi is that high performing employee who goes by his manager’s script of doing good throughout the year and making the right noises that will earn him a good appraisal in the coming cycle :).