The elusive recipe of being a 'Good Husband'!

I have often wondered and contemplated about the viability of the concept of a 'Good Husband' but have always failed to assimilate the ingredients that might actually contribute in the formulation of such a concept. Though few of my close friends, who also happen to play the arduous role of being Husbands proudly boast that they qualify as the true ambassadors of this concept but much to their dismay their respective ringmasters (read wives) don't read too much into such claims. So if the real recipe of 'How to be termed as a Good Husband' is still enigmatic, there is a clear unanimity among the husbands that certain characteristics like being good with household chores, being at least an 'at par' cook if not better, being a patient shopping companion and being overtly nice and abiding to 'her' parents will certainly add flavor to the ultimate recipe. But unfortunately even these ingredients aren't as simple and edible as they seem.

So if in the pursuit of wooing your girl friend or prospective life partner you have invested a lot of time and energy to prove the fact that you are a good cook (unlike some 'other guys' who can't even hold a knife), you are sure to earn some brownie points but that would also at the same time lay the foundation of your own downfall. To start with you will invite lot of accolades from various quarters, including your partner and more importantly her envious friends but very soon you will realize that the entire effort and those alluring accolades were not at all worth it. As those 'out of the box' and 'exceeding expectations' effort would gradually become a part of your job description or routine portfolio and would turn into 'bare minimums'. And if by any chance you try to divulge from those once surprising freebies, be prepared for those acerbic and suffocating 'you have changed' taunts. And just in case if you go on and attempt to simplify your mate's life by getting the households done by the maid, forget the much deserved pat on the back, rather at some point in time be prepared for those 'you are very interfering' rants. So leave apart these efforts being a part of that elusive recipe, it all the more contributes for one’s own misery.

If there is poll conducted across all the males globally to vote for their most frustrating and dreadful activity, 'accompanying their partners for shopping' will win hands down. And if you have been living with a perception that you are an exception and very good in accompanying your partner for shopping then that's not going to stay true for eternity. In the short run you might think that what’s the big deal, it’s just about saying ‘YES’ and driving her down to the shopping mall of her choice. But in the long run this would become a part of your ‘job description’ and just being a chauffeur won’t suffice. In fact, It would also be expected that you actively participate in each of her (shopping) outings and ‘suggest’(not enforce) her about what will suit her and what will suit her ‘even more’ (beware - anything not suiting her certainly can’t be an option :)). And if by any chance she receives some not so glorious remarks on the newly bought stuff, be ready to bear the brunt for this debacle with comments like ‘ it was you who told to me to buy that stuff and see my colleagues are laughing at me for that’. You are bound to feel helpless and would find it doubly hard to accept the responsibility for this fiasco. But if you are brave enough to gather that much courage to reply her back saying ‘I never forced you to buy that, I just put forth my suggestion’ , then be prepared for an even more illogical argument on the lines ‘ but you could have at least stopped me from buying that weird stuff, but after all why will you want me to look good’. Naturally on hearing this you won’t even attempt to respond and will immediately realize that all the courtesy, efforts, time and money employed to impress your partner has gone down the drain.

Now being overtly nice and abiding to 'her' parents is not a requirement or too high an expectation to quote explicitly. But I wish it was as simple as it reads out! It’s quite natural that one is respectful towards any elderly figure be it one’s own parents or be it hers but still there are occasions when you somehow don’t agree with their views. And in such occasions even if you go on and put forth your views in the politest of manner, be ready to accept the crime of being ‘ rude, uncomplimentary and disrespectful to her parents’ (they won’t feel it but your wife/girl friend/partner will certainly and very strongly feel so), you might even break your head to explain that you were so very respectful in communicating your view point but that won’t help your cause by any means. And if you are smart enough to control yourself and keep mum in such occasions of contrarian views, don’t feel too good about yourself as you might still be accused of the fact that ‘you don’t feel like talking to my parents, they are discussing something and you didn’t even care to reply, how INSULTING(again neither they felt so nor you, these are solely her feelings:()!’. Obviously, you are in a no man’s land and even the easiest of tasks of being overtly nice and abiding to 'her' parents seems herculean & head breaking!

Understandably being a ‘Good Husband’ isn’t an easy task, in fact it’s an almost improbable one indeed. But still every husband/boyfriend keeps toiling to earn that coveted title and in the process tries his hand in lot of things but a majority of them goes unnoticed and the remaining ones go horribly wrong as discussed above. On the other hand if ‘her highness’ does even the most routine of chores she makes it a point to make it sound so very important and conveys it to one and all. For instance, if she gets a call from her mom or her mom-in-law or her friend or her hair stylist and the person on the call casually happens to ask ‘How are you?’ then she will take a deep breath and deliver a 7.5 minute uninterrupted speech and answer ‘ I came back from work at around 9PM, straight away got into kitchen, chopped a bowl full of vegetables, garnished them and eventually got the curry ready, thereafter I went ahead and did the chapattis and then finished up with an even more cumbersome task of cleaning up the kitchen’. No matter what the question is, she vents out whatever she had done in the most explicit manner and if by any chance the poor guy has done all this and her mom or her mom-in-law or her friend or her hair stylist specifically happens to ask ‘Are you done with your cooking/dinner?’, she will very casually reply ‘Yep! So what’s up with your Diwali Shopping…..What about your new doggie…’. And the poor guy will keep on looking at her expectantly hoping for some mention of his hard work that has totally gone unnoticed:(. Such is the misery!

So all in all its futile to search for that elusive recipe and rather it’s better to be yourself and enjoy every bit of her tantrums and criticisms. After all everything about our wives/girl friends/partners is not as horrid as we make out, in fact if you look at her straight from your heart she will once again seem to be the most beautiful girl in the world, the very girl with whom you fell in love some years back. But dare not to say this to her, as she will make you say that at least a thousand times:)!

PS: All the views and opinions expressed in this post are not solely mine but are a mix of miseries shared by my close friends & colleagues:)!

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Is it time to move over Cricket?

Is it time to move over Cricket? In Indian parlance, the answer to this question can be quite inflammatory and contrasting at the same time. For instance, people might have literally killed me if I would have raised this question 9 months back, when India completed a historical triumph by beating Srilanka in the World Cup finals. But if the same question is raised today(when the Indian cricket team is getting thrashed in OZ) or would have been raised after India’s tour of England, a lot of people from the very lot might eventually reply in ‘YES’. So to get an unbiased answer to this rather dubious question one has to look beyond these impulsive pointers and reach to a conclusion based on various other facets.

Quite often we come across strong sentiments from some of our friends and colleagues that ‘they have stopped watching cricket ever since the match fixing fiasco’ or ‘tournaments like IPL have killed the very essence of the game and have turned it into a money spinning machine’ or ‘ever since that XYZ cricketer(s) has retired their connect with the game has vanquished’ or for that matter ‘they switch off their TV sets as soon as their favorite cricketer gets out’. But at the same time there are fans like me also, who can even watch a Bangladesh-Srilanka encounter with the same fervor as one can associate with a highly anticipated India Pakistan tie. So the bigger question that emerges out of these sentiments is that do we like/dislike the game because of a certain set of cricketers or we form our judgments solely based on the extent of commercialism the game has undergone or do we actually follow the game solely based on our love for the game? Probably it’s a mix of all these cases, because if true love for the game would have been the only reason, our reactions and mood swings wouldn’t have been so mercurial and impulsive.

But why do we exhibit such contrasting pangs of impulsiveness? Indians are known to be emotional by nature and when it comes to cricket it breaches all limits. Also it’s a known fact that we don’t celebrate and appreciate good performances if they come against us, no wonder we score poorly in the ‘love for the game’ aspect and start cribbing way to early. And since cricket happens to be the only sport that most of the Indians can relate to, it excites and deflates our spirits beyond normal. Unlike countries like England, Australia, New Zealand etc. that have sports other than cricket also being followed and played with the same intensity, Indians only have cricket as their staple diet. No wonder our expectations from the cricketers are mammoth and that eventually translates into abnormal reactions at the times of adverse results. So not only we need to inculcate a habit of acknowledging and appreciating any display of good sporting performance against us but we also need to start giving impetus to sports other than cricket.

Indians giving impetus to sports other than cricket? It’s easier said than done! After all we excel in the art of mocking our own athletes for their not so celebratory performances in their respective sport or their early exits in any of the international events. Now, even if we keep the routine rants of lack of aid from the Government and Infrastructural lapses aside, one thing that any sportsman yearns for the most is support from his/her peers and countrymen. So unless we start taking these athletes and their trade seriously, we won’t be able to motivate them and then, to expect world beating performances from these de-motivated sportsmen is simply asking for too much. And if dearth of talent is a concern, then it’s certainly a lame one, as after all if a country of over a billion can’t produce talent, who will? It’s just a matter of providing the required motivation, adequate infrastructure support and right opportunities. And on the same lines, sponsorships, aids and finances shouldn’t be considered as a hindrance in the growth of non-cricketing sporting trades because if big corporate houses can splurge massive amounts on IPL clubs, they can certainly put their hands up in aiding the national representations in other sports as well.

So, Is it time to move over Cricket? In an another attempt to answer this question, the response would be a firm ‘No’. But it is certainly time to start loving the game rather than being impulsive and adopting the path of idolizing the sportsmen. It’s also high time we start celebrating and giving impetus to other sports as well. And most importantly it’s time to believe that at the end of it any sport is not a matter of life and death it’s just an art form meant to celebrate, entice and unite the entire nation. It’s time to move over our flawed prejudices!

kin…

New Years Time - Time to Cherish & Dream!

It's again that time of the year where you sit back and ponder how the year went by, what were the highs and lows and how the coming year will unfold. It's also that time of the year when you celebrate your success, move over your failures and above all welcome the new year with lots of hope. Yes it's again the New Year time, a time to celebrate, smile and enter into a world with lots of dreams and desires.

As always the year that went by was a contrasting year with lot of highs and equally disturbing lows. Globally it was an year of political and economic upheavals, be it US, be it Europe or be it those anarchic establishments of the Arab world. The world witnessed quite a handful of leaders falling apart and the most striking and talked about fall out being that of Osama Bin Laden. Amid-st the fears of 2012 apocalypse and a backdrop of global warming the planet faced one of cruelest years in the recent times. The devastating Tsunami in Japan crumbled the entire nation into shambles, hurricane Irene wrecked havoc on the coastal pastures of US, deadly earthquake demolished the beautiful nation of New Zealand and flash floods in China and Thailand killed thousand of helpless people. All this havoc in a span of just one year was just too hot to handle, now whether this can be considered as one of those unlucky years or an indication of the things to come can make up for an interesting debate but these were certainly the defining events of the year.

In India, on the political grounds where on one hand it was one of the darkest year for the nation with the ruling UPA government scaling new lows of mismanagement, corruption and utter failure on all grounds. The nation found a new hero in the name of Anna Hazare who united the nation against the age old vice of corruption and gave the people of the nation a sense of hope against the fast deteriorating system and at the same time jolted the ever so corrupt and inefficient politicians and gave them a shock of their lives. Though it's an altogether different matter of debate that by the year end, whether he eventually crossed the line and went overboard with his campaign but nonetheless what he did by awakening the nation and uniting them against the contagious virus of corruption can't be discounted at any cost and should go down in our history as one of the most inspiring and successful movements post independence.

In the sporting arena where the people of the nation gave a warm welcome to the high flying Formula 1 championship, on the cricketing grounds India scaled new lows by being whitewashed by England in all the three formats of the game, in the process also losing their coveted No. 1 Test Ranking and consequently the popularity of the game also reached its lowest ebb with a poor response to the high profile IPL tournament and low turn outs in the ODIs against England and West Indies at home. But the highlight of the year certainly happens to be the India's historical triumph in the 2011 ODI World Cup, the event not only united over a billion Indians in the most exemplary fashion but also gave them an emotional high that they were yearning for, for almost three decades.No wonder like many others, this event also happens to be my most cherished and memorable moment of the year!

It was a particularly sad year for the art and entertainment industry as we lost gems like Pt Bheem Sen Joshi, Shammi Kapoor, Dev Anand and Bhupen Hazarika to name a few. However, the industry also got quite a handful of 100 crore plus blockbusters and minted handsome moolah through it, the hot and happening Khan war kept the audiences engaged to the core. On one hand where the ever so young and dashing Salman 'Dabang' Khan came up with two of the biggest grosser of all times and probably also two of the most sleazily made and boring movies of the year in the form of Ready & Bodyguard. On the other hand the outspoken and self proclaimed numero uno of the industry Shahrukh 'Badshah' Khan delivered flicks like RaOne & Don2 which also raked good money but at the same time invited unprecedented criticism from various quarters too. Though from the quality standpoint later's movies were certainly better looking and well made but the former's popularity today stands notches above any other star in the country. This certainly makes for an interesting contest for the masala mongers in the years to come, as that is what Bollywood gossip mills thrive upon. And if you bring the Aamir 'Perfectionist' Khan also in the equation, then it can very easily beat any of the blockbusters in the history of Indian Cinema.

So after a riveting 2011 what do we have in store for 2012? Globally, with US Presidential elections hovering around we might see a change in the name of the Most Powerful Man on the Planet. India might have it's own share of political drama with state elections scheduled in more than half a dozen states and the masses confidently ready to combat the sleazy politicians, riding on the strong anti-corruption wave created by Anna Hazare. With 2012 London Olympics all set to dazzle billions of people across the world, over a billion Indians will also hold their breath together to see how their sporting heroes perform at the global stage. The nation might also have to bid adieu to its long serving cricketing stalwarts like Rahul Dravid, VVS Laxman who are at the wrong side of the age cricketing age. It would be audacious to also include the great Sir Sachin Tendulkar who has been defying all odds since last 2 decades, in the same bracket as in all probability he will not only scale his much awaited 100th ton but will keep on adding many more jewels to his already glittering crown. The Bollywood will have yet another busy and gossip fueled year with all the three Khans set to titillate the audiences with their high profile releases. And lastly the Jalebi Bais & the Chikni Chamelis will keep on the masses engaged and the new found trend of having TV Serials by the name of popular old movie songs will extend from the likes of 'Bade achhe lagte ho..', 'Kuch to log kahenge...', 'Na bole tum na humne kuch suna...' to possibly ' Munni Badnaam hui...', 'Sheela ki Jawaani...' & 'Kolaveri Di Beendanis':).

Here's Wishing a very Happy & Prosperous New Year to All!
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