Anna way not the ultimate way!

Not often does it happen that sequels turn out to be successful, be it movies, be it books or be it a social movement. But if the sequel involves Munna Bhai, GOLMAL or for that matter Anna Hazare then such striking aberrations do happen. So when Anna Hazare launched a nationwide protest against corruption and incorporation of Jan Lokpal Bill in April 2011 it garnered massive support but few weeks later when Baba Ramdev (BRD) tried to do an encore it was a flop show. So naturally when Anna declared a similar protest from Aug 16th the expectations of that being a success on the lines his 1st act (in april) were not very high. Though the support for the cause was huge but looking at the government's tyranny the chances of the sequel also being a hit were minimal. But what happened eventually was monumental, the Anna sequel was a bigger and a mightier hit not only in India but even internationally.

But why did it work for Anna and not for BRD? Probably because BRD tried to cash in on the good work or awakening caused by Anna where as on his second wind Anna just continued from where he left in the 1st innings. Or probably because BRD couldn't alienate himself from the saffron forces and people considered his act as a stunt to gain popularity and business mileage, Anna on the other hand had a very clean and well respected image. Also probably because when the government tried to arrest BRD he tried evading the place and made things worse for himself, Anna on the other hand offered to surrender and thereby not only flummoxed the government but also attracted a massive nation wide support. In simple terms Anna and his team did a very good ground work before launching the epic movement with even their plans B, C and D ready, BRD on the other hand was so poorly prepared that even his plan A seemed to be a joke. No wonder Anna succeeded and BRD literally bleed ed!

Nothing against Anna Hazare or any of his team members as Anna in particular has been a symbol of integrity, restrain and hope all his life, a proud salute to the Gandhian for his conduct and contribution to the society.But does it mean that one can fast for 13 odd days, garner nationwide support and get whatever he/she wants? On broader terms this is what happened in this case, no doubt that the cause for which the fasting or the movement was launched was a very genuine and a much needed one too but does it mean the one can bypass the system and literally blackmail the government to abide to his/her demand? One can rightly argue that with the unacceptable levels of corruption and the tyrannic ways that government has resorted to off late, this was the only way left with the masses. But then the 'my way or the highway' approach has never yielded a fool proof and a long term solution. The rightful approach should be such that it should give due respect to the views from all corners, earnestly debate on each of the viewpoints and then come to a concrete draft built solely on the basis of merit, neither through state's overpowering methods and nor through any individual's or group's blackmailing trysts.

Also another misconception that was highly prevalent during the Anna's movement was that if you are not supporting Anna, you are supporting the government or you are not against corruption or even worse you are not a true Indian.Not many believed in the fact that there can be a third view too other than the Government's and the Anna's view, may be even a fourth or fifth view also. And one of those views can be supporting the cause for which Anna is fighting (i.e. fight against corruption) but not supporting the ways Anna has adopted (i.e. the path of fasting, protesting and blackmailing). The objective of that non-Anna route will still lead to a fight against corruption, so it doesn't necessarily mean that if one is not supporting Anna's movement he/she is a pro-government or pro-corruption idealist.

But the biggest question that we need to ask ourselves is that can we transform into a corruption free nation just by the mere implementation of the Jan Lokpal Bill? Can we attain the ultimate goal of a corruption free India by wearing the 'I am Anna' caps, passionately waving the tricolor and indulging in an eternal fast? The simple answer to this not so complicated question is 'NO'. The practitioners of corruption and wrong doings will still find means and ways to fool the Jan Lokpal laws and keep on wiping off the hard earned tax payers money.So certainly even a mass movement of such proportions won't eradicate the age old vice. What can eventually loosen the scum of corruption and eventually eradicate it would be a strong resolve in each and every countrymen to abstain from corruption on the very microlevel. That will involve abstaining from giving bribes for getting the smallest of jobs done like bribing the admission supervisor for child's admission into a very good school or paying a ransom to the babu for getting a home loan sanctioned. This route might seem to be an arduous and frustrating one to start off with but then this is the only way that will fulfill the dream of a corruption free India. Seems tougher than holding rallies and indulging in fasts but then this is the only way!

Salman Khan – A foolproof recipe for success, sans logic!

In the reverberating times of Anna, Messi and KBC fame Mr. Bachchan, if there is one man who can still find a place in this highly competitive canvas then it’s none other than Salman Phenomenal Khan. And riding high on the success of 3 of the biggest bollywood blockbusters of all times Wanted, DABANG and Ready the phenomenal Khan has every reason to have a claim on every inch of that coveted canvas. No wonder whatever the mercurial star is touching these days is turning into GOLD.

Though I am not a big fan of Salman the actor but off late I have turned into a big fan of Salman the entertainer. The star might not be the best actor that has donned the 70mm screen, he might not be the swiftest of dancers to have glued the masses and he might not even be the best of stunt men to have awed the millions but he certainly has his own ways that make him click with the masses. Most importantly the guy has a CONNECT with the audiences that makes him a seriously successful phenomena. And it is this ‘connect’ that drew me to the nearby multiplex on the first day of his latest release BODYGUARD and what followed was a visit to a neighboring chemist to buy half a dozen analgesics.

Interestingly, what bamboozled me was not the quality of the movie but the reaction of the masses watching the movie alongside me. For the entire two and half hours when I was trying to find logic and reasons to join the bandwagon, the major chunk in the hall was whistling, clapping and screaming in joy and literally getting berserk to say the least. Also, it wasn’t that I went to the hall with a mindset to find follies in the flick, that being the case I wouldn’t have shown the urge to watch the movie on first day morning. In fact I also wanted to be a part of the whistling and screaming lot but somehow I couldn’t find a frame in which I could have done so.

And this experience made me utterly worried about myself to the extent that for a while I even started doubting my psyche thinking what is wrong with me that I am not able to enjoy and cherish a movie that has in a matter of just 4 days become the biggest grosser and blockbuster of bollywood, glued the masses like never before and has become a talking point in every forum. For me the movie had no storyline, no great music, no out of the world comic acts and was just a loosely scripted and badly narrated piece of work riding solely on the popularity of a superstar. And if we talk in the rating terms the movie couldn’t have garnered a rating of more than 1 out of 5 by any means but still the most celebrated critics of our country couldn’t muster the courage to rate it below 3.5, 3 or 2.5. Probably because the biggest grosser tag and the Salman flag is far too heavy to gauge a movie on solely qualitative terms.

Nothing against Salman Superstar Khan though, he is and has always been a heartthrob among masses and definitely for right reasons. In fact full credit to him for being so fit and good looking even at this age, to an extent that he has left the likes of SRK,Hrithik and Aamir far behind in the race for supremacy. But if we go by the parameters of logic and excellence I still fail to understand how movies like BODYGUARD and READY work to such successful extent. Probably, in fact most definitely the masses know it better and it’s futile to ponder so much about the logic in these no brainer times of Dhinkachika and Desi Beats!

Viewpoint -> I would still vouch for movies like ‘Zindagi na milegi dobara’ to attain the cult status that these otherwise brainless movies are getting.

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Thrashed 4-0 but a sense of DEJAVU!

In the cricketing parlance the year 2011 is gives a sense of DEJAVU. The year has a striking resemblance with the year 2007, the year when Team India touched both the highs and lows of the game in a span of few months. On one hand the team suffered an early exit in one of the year’s biggest event (read ODI World Cup); on the other hand the same team bounced back from nowhere and clinched one of the year’s another big event (read innuagral T20 World Cup). The year 2011 is also quite similar but for the sequence of events, in that the team again won the year’s biggest event (read ODI World Cup) and got literally thrashed in the year’s another big event (read England Test Series).

The recent thrashing of the Indian team in the test series in England has come as a surprise for one and all. England were always expected to be a tough bet in their home conditions but a 4-0 annihilation, that too when the team was sitting atop the ICC Test Rankings, riding high on the laurels of last 2-3 years (including the recent World Cup victory) and boasting highly of the most envied batting line up in the world was a real tragedy, in fact a massacre for the true Indian fans. And what was even more tragic was not the final score line or the margin of defeat but the lack of intent and competitiveness shown by Team India. Barring the 1st session of the test series England outplayed, outclassed and dominated India in every single session of the series and that pretty much summarizes the reason for a 4-0 score line.

Though the postmortem of the tragedy has already started in all corners, be it TV shows, Newspaper columns, Blogosphere or Office Canteens, with every party ready with its own reason(s) for the debacle, to single out one particular reason for the failure would be gross injustice to the magnitude of the disaster itself. So if not one, what are the primary reasons for this out of the blue bolt?

Poor Scheduling. Back to back international series, no gaps between the tours, lack of practice matches before the series, rakes up as THE most important reason for the drudgery.
Horrible Injury Management. BCCI’s inability to manage injuries of its key players is another key reason for this sudden dip in potency of the erstwhile no.1 team in the world. Players kept on playing in far less important tourneys like IPL and West Indies tour despite their injuries that lead to their breakdown at this crucial juncture.

IPL. Every critic’s favorite punching bag is certainly a big contributor in the team’s failure at the highest level. On one hand where players from the countries like Australia and England abstain themselves from the lucrative but inconsequential IPL matches, all the Indian stars actively participate in the event and eventually drain themselves out before the much more important fixtures of the year.

Lack of sightedness. When countries like England, Australia and South Africa identify the iconic series like Ashes well in advance and prepare and rotate their players accordingly to keep them fighting fit for such high profile clashes, BCCI has no such vision. No wonder half of the superstars find themselves fatigued with no bench strength to back them up.

No Prioritization. With all the boards setting their priorities right by giving Test cricket the utmost importance and managing its players and domestic setup accordingly, BCCI has only one priority and that is to rake moolah. And since the board is successfully able to do so through IPL, its priority clearly seems to be T20 cricket when it should always have been Test Cricket. No wonder the times to come would be even more worrisome for the Indian cricket.

A plethora of reasons can be identified but unless the board (read BCCI) changes its attitude from being the top grosser to being the top team (in cricketing terms) in the world, the plight of the Indian cricket team is only going to get worse. Though a section of self proclaimed cricket pundits also feel that for the betterment of Indian cricket, veterans like Tendulkar, Dravid & VVS should call it a day and make way for the young Turks but the simple question is, do we have able replacements for these stalwarts? Forget replacements, do we even have players with half the talent and temperament these guys possess(ed). And it’s not that the youngsters haven’t got the desired chances, players like Yuvraj and Raina have got handful of opportunities but every time this big stage (read Test cricket) has looked too big for them. Naturally in few months or at max in few years the trinity will fade by eventually hanging their boots and the mantle will then pass on to the young brigade. But unless the focus changes from the bang bang cricket and money minting spree to a much more demanding and testing grind of Test cricket, the future will remain to seem bleak.

On the hindsight, things did change after the 2007 debacle (read ODI world cup early exit) and triggered a golden era of Indian Cricket, only if the 2011 debacle (read 4-0 Test thrashing in England) can also trigger a similar era. But this time the tide seems to be turning the other way round!

Viewpoint – Till the point, a T20 playing Suresh Raina earns more than the Test playing Rahul Dravid, odds won’t stake in favor of Indian Cricket! A pointer too simple yet too complex for BCCI to comprehend!

Yet again, but who cares!

What transpired on the evening of 13-July-2011 in three of the most buzzing parts of the Maximum City was grossly heinous and totally unacceptable but it was certainly nothing new or unexpected. The act of terror claimed 18 lives, injured over a hundred and yet again disheartened over a billion countrymen. But on doing a stern reality check one can easily ascertain that not much has changed over the last few years, neither the lackadaisical intelligence setup, nor the ever so vulnerable security system and more importantly nor the attitude of the government and the media on such terror attacks. The last pointer interestingly being the most worrisome of all.

So when ideally the honorable Home Minister (HM) was expected to take the full responsibility of the lapse, the lungi-man blatantly defended the government saying that they didn’t had any intelligence inputs on the blast.So were we expecting a courtesy call or a detailed time table on the blast with all the pointers including the time, location and modus operandi of the act explicitly delivered to the government well in advance? Logic anyone? And over that the HM tops this up by saying that this has been the first act of its kind in 31 months and the government has in a way done a splendid job in tackling terror. But Sir, how about the Pune's German Bakery blast, regular acts of terror claiming hundreds of lives in the north east or countless innocent losing their lives by the naxal threat in the interiors of Chhattisgarh? Are we in a sense saying that these are not the part of India or is it that the value of 17 people dying in Mumbai is much more than hundreds losing their lives in the other not so buzzing parts of the nation? If no, then why is it that every Neta descends in Mumbai within hours of the act and not even a single such Neta visits places like Guwahati or Bastar?

If the attitude and justification delivered by the HM was ridiculously illogical, the ever so helpless and docile Prime Minister of the country delivered his age old rhetoric that 'We are committed to fighting terror'. But didn’t he run the same tape after the last blast? Hapless! India certainly deserves a better leadership but more importantly at this juncture our ailing PM deserves a better speech writer!

But the biggest shocker came from the heartthrob of the Congress and the unanimously chosen PM in waiting, Mr. Rahul Gandhi or more fondly known as Rahul Baba. Baba defends the government saying that 99% of the attacks have been stopped and remaining 1% attacks will happen and it is impossible to stop them all the time. Moreover, Baba even tried to instill confidence among the countrymen by saying that we shouldn't get bogged down by such acts of terrors as our condition is still better than Karachi's and Kabul's of the world. Ridiculous! Are we taking these cities (countries) as our benchmark? If yes, then even the facts are not quite supporting the analogy given by Baba, as after 2005 if the cities of Karachi and Kabul have respectively lost 500 and 520 innocent lives due to terror attacks, Mumbai isn't far behind with 390 casualties. And professing a 99% theory in a world where the likes of US and UK are still to see a semblance of such lapse post 9/11 is nothing but stupidity and shamelessness personified. Everybody understands that every square inch of land can't be guarded 24*7 but then there is something called as intelligence to tackle such threats. But that quality per say is not only missing in our system but has also eluded our beloved leaders.

Media (esp. electronic media) whose role has become extremely crucial in the last few years has once again disappointed with its more or less sensationalism based approach in handling such sensitive issues. On one hand where media is expected to adopt a far more responsible role in keeping the public emotions in check, unfortunately most of the news channel are busy in running speculative stories (majority of them being a figment of their imagination) to garner more eye balls. And a constant that remains after every such debacle is the Spirit of Mumbai report, essaying how fast the people of Mumbai get back to their normal routine. I fail to understand do they (mumbaikars) have any other option? After all what else is expected out of a helpless citizen post such a nerve wrecking incident, should he stay put at his home for six months or should he come out on the streets and protest against the lack of security? Probably the easiest and the most pragmatic option left with him is to get back to his routine. And unfortunately not even a single news channel runs a story or report educating the common man about the Do's and Don'ts to be followed in such situations. But since such educational documentaries won't create that high dose of sensationalism, will never find a slot in the already packed schedules of the TRP craving news channels. Sad but true!

Terror attacks, casualties, injuries, devastation, fake promises, candle March, forgotten! Sadly the cycle keeps on repeating every few months so much so that people have started taking it as routine with no hopes of a permanent solution from the government. And nothing can be more embarrassing for the government than this state of helplessness and lack of trust among the masses. But do they really care? Certainly not!

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Why Baba is also WRONG & Government is still STRONG?

The current political setup in India is such that whatever the government does or puts it's hand into turns into a mess. Be it those uncountable scams or scandals, be it the inability to curb inflation or be it the government's failure in maintaining the law and order situation. Interestingly with even half of such debacles any government would have failed to survive or remain in a comfortable situation to rule the country but ironically and much to the government's delight, the opposition itself is in such a disarray that the government hardly faces any serious threat despite such grave failures on almost every front. On their merry days with such a setup the BJP should have made the most of such opportunity and snatched the right of ruling the country quite comfortably from the ruling alliance. But the party (BJP) itself is in such a poor state that they can't even dream of such a turnaround. The party is still struggling to resurrect a mass leader of Vajpayee's class , they are still not sure about their core agenda and are still fighting to distance themselves from their age old nemesis of saffronisation and commualism, naturally the party is far from being a serious threat to the government. Hence, pragmatically expecting a quick fix to this quagmire is asking for too much.

So when the entire nation is united in the fight against corruption, what's so different about Baba Ramdev's, BRD, campaign. BRD's campaign against corruption is very much on the lines of Anna Hazare's campaign held two months back in the capital but if Hazare's campaign was a subtle Shyam Benegal flick, BRD's is an opuleunt and out of the world Karan Johar soap opera. Though it's a different matter that not many remember that even Ramdev's agenda is to fight against corruption as the entire issue has turned into a political drama rather than a constructive path to cleanse our system. It almost seems that BRD's main motto is to show his mass following and financial might, though this extravagance shouldn't discount the fact that even BRD's tryst is towards the overall good of the nation. But the bigger question is why Hazare wasn't treated with the same stick that thrashed BRD and his followers? Probably because the government couldn't digest the opulence associated with BRD's protest vis a vis Hazare's more sedate campaign. Or because BRD didn't gave much credence to the fact that four cabinet ministers recieved him at the airport and tried to cajole him. Or most importantly the government feared the fact that the presence of various religious leaders on the same dias could give this campaign a communally political color and thereby further fuel the fire that is already hitting the government quite hard.

But what government did on the night of 4th of June was totally unacceptable and grossly heinous, the brutal beating of sleeping children and women was inhuman and it killed the very notion of democracy. If the same government still ranks Babri demolishment and Godhra massacre as a shameful blot on the Indian history, the event on 4th of June was no lesser crime. Beating innocent people at midnight just because they are supporting a cause that might eventually cost the government its hold at the center, is nothing but an exhibition of the highest level of atrocity. Even the constitution of our country gives every Indian the right to express his or her views by means of speech or protest, so to stop an individual or a group of people to practise their constitutional right is a crime. The Government might put forth a logic that the presence of religious leaders at the campaign might be detrimental to the law and order situation in the capital but it can't dilute the fact the occasion is not to woo the masses for votes but it is to unite the nation against the severe vice of corruption. Probably the government thought since we can't provide a solution lets further complicate the problem, all in all it was an act of hooliganism and a total failure on government's part.

The Government is also raising questions on the multi million dollar BRD empire, but unless ofcourse BRD or his trust is not paying taxes or breaching any stipulated guidelines, I don't see any wrong in his wealth creation. And technically he is not a spiritual sanyasi or a religious preacher, he is just a yoga teacher practising naturopathy. Hence, if you want to buy his products buy them or else simply ignore them. So if the government is totally at fault in dealing with this issue can we safely give a clean chit to BRD? Well the answer to this rather trivial question is 'NO', though the cause for which BRD has come forward is a noble one but it's execution has certainly not been an innocuous one. On one hand where Hazare categorically refused to share the dias with any political figure, presence of saffron leaders at BRD's protest make his tryst a questionable one; where Hazare preached the Gandhian mantra of non violence to achieve the ultimate goal of a corruption free India, BRD announced the formation of 11,000 strong armed force of men and women to fight against the government employed forces, certainly this is not one of the most mature and sensible announcements made by a man who is supposedly fighting for such a serious cause. And this naturally attracts detractors and raises questions on the credibility of BRD's campaign.

Despite the fact that the Government is totally at fault and BRD is not completely right or wrong, things are not what they should be. BRD is still ploying hard for every ounce of attention and the government is still sitting pretty due to a weak and a disoriented opposition. Ideally, when after such a consistent string of debacles things should have worsenned for the government, it's not quite the case. And in due course if BRD eventually goes on to launch a political party as he has directly or indirectly hinted earlier, things will get merrier for the government. As it will further divide, dent and weaken BJP's vote bank in the same way as it happened recently with Raj Thackeray's emergence in Maharashtra and Chiranjeevi's entry in the AP politics. So the evil will prevail atleast for quite some time in the near future and it won't be an exaggeration to say that in true sense we are living in Kalyug!


Perspective: And it all boils down to the fact that a full toss delivery isn't a bad delivery unless ofcourse the batsman has the ability to dispatch it over the boundary.

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The Great Indian Autorickshaw Tamasha!

The public transport in our country is definitely not a match to the exponentially rising population and vibrantly growing economy. Though a few of the metropolitans are coming to terms with the super suave metro rail and the German engineered buses to ferry the commuters in and across the town, their is still a long way to go on improving a commoners daily travelling woes. In India where majority of people still rely on the public transport for their routine chores, the draconian and ever increasing fuel prices are making things even tougher. A middle class man who can somehow afford to buy a vehicle on his own stops himself from going the extra mile fearing the high fuel cost he will have to bear once he eventually buys the vehicle and this increases the load on the public transport all the more. Eventually a majority has to rely on the local rail, city buses, shared tumtums or auto rickshaws for their survival and amongst all these the auto-rickshaws or the auto-rickshaw waalas are the most interesting and unanimously annoying breed.

Hailing from a small town gives ample opportunities to visit and live in metro cities for essential things like studies and work. And once you keep getting such opportunities you tend to start comparing these big cities against each other on different parameters. Public transport surely happens to be one such parameter and the auto-rickshaw waalas become one of the chief artisans of this large ambit.

Now things can't be better than what they are in the small cities like Raipur (incidentally my home town) where you sort of know everybody in the town from the top bureaucrat to every auto-rickshaw waala and vica versa. So if at all you have to avail the services of an auto-rickshaw, its an innocuous experience where in you chit chat along the way and the amount you need to pay to the vendor for his services is left on your discretion. Simple, hassle free and one of the many benefits of living in a small town!

Things drastically change once you move up to the capital city of New Delhi where in one of the many precautions you are bombarded up with from all corners is about being extra cautious against the auto-rickshaw waalas of the metropolitan. On the face of it these auto-rickshaw waalas seem super friendly, uber social and your best possible guide for the journey but you won't even realize how a 1km journey has been smartly fooled around in the numerous narrow by-lanes and transitioned into an 8km misery. And if by any chance you try to question any of their actions, be prepared to get an Oxford Dictionary Tutorial on the most innovative and never before abuses. Sugary start with an almost certain scary finish!

On moving down south to the city of Nizam's, Hyderabad, one surely gets a sense that the autorickshaw waalas of the city are the true Nizams of the territory. If you approach them to ask for their willingness to ferry you from point A to point B ( which ideally costs around Rs 30 by meter ) they will warmly answer in affirmitive. But the moment you ask for the cost of the ride they will bluntly say Rs 150 with the same smile, as if they are dropping you for free. Obviously one is compelled to ask why this exorbitant pricing and why not go by the meter, to that they will give you such an annoying look as if you have asked him for her daughter's mobile number. And the ones who are a bit polite in conduct will put forth a logic that the 'slightly' high pricing is due to the half return charges they have included to compensate for the scenario that they might have to come back all the way without any passenger. Though by rule this half return formula is applicable after midnight but dare you teach that to Mr Nizam, as you might skirt with the risk of turning the polite lad into an irked one. Illogical, illegal but still the unstated norm!

The scenario in the oxford of the east is by no means better. The autorickshaw waalas in Pune have this unique tendency of refusing to ferry you and rather opting to sit idle reading newspaper. Obviously bamboozled by this refusal one asks for a reason to which the angry old man responds with a 'My Rick, My wish' bouncer. And the ones who are actually ready to serve you never have change handy with them and this situation invariably pops up once you have reached your destination. If the tariff comes out to Rs 72 and you hand them a hundred rupee note you eventually end up paying Rs 100 for a Rs 72 ride because they always pretend to be short of change. One of the million ways of goofing and making money!

Amazingly things are not this scary in the buzzing metropolis of Mumbai, in fact the simplicity and the honesty in operations of the auto-rickshaw waalas leaves people in a bewildered state. The operative logic remains quite simple, whatever be the destination, whatever be the time of the day, no arguments, no bargaining just follow 'pay by meter' mantra. And this thumb rule quite literally eliminates the chances of fraud that might arise from 'fooling around in the by-lanes' or an unnecessarily imposed 'half return loading' or losses arising from the 'no change drama'. The scenario is quite contrasting as the vast expanse of the city gives ample opportunities for foul play but probably a strong public transport system in the form of local rail and good network of BEST buses augurs well for the auto-rickshaw waalas too to play fair. Astonishingly refreshing setup for the commoner!

Though I have never experienced the music of Chennai auto-rickshaw waalas personally but having heard about them to such extents, I feel if any community can give the Delhi clan a run for their money then it's the Chennai gang. Supposedly the only denomination the Chennai auto-rickshaw waalas understand is that of hundreds, no matter how close the destination is, the quoted price invariably happens to be Rs 100 or multiples of that, no rationale, no logic, no meter, just their own rules. Sadly, they literally feed on the outsiders who don't understand their local language obviously its a nightmarish experience for the north Indians. And even if they do know Hindi or English they pretend that they are unaware of it and try to fool the passenger on that premise. Certainly not the best city to hire an auto-rickshaw!

Nothing against the community and also not denying the fact that they are a necessity in this nation, still it can be safely said that because of a few mavericks they don't enjoy the faith of the masses and are more aptly availed as TINA factor rather then being the preferred choice. If only things would have been more transparent and consumer friendly the need for writing this satire wouldn't have come up.

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The Hilarious ONSITE MANIA!

Working in IT industry or in more broader terms any service based industry has it's own share of unique experiences. And anybody who has been a part of this setup can easily relate to these unique, weird and extraordinary experiences. One such very common phenomena is the rage to travel abroad through work related trips and quite interestingly this phenomena is inversely proportional to the number of years one has spent in the industry. So if this phenomena is not a top priority for a veteran who has spent 10-15 years in the industry, it certainly is the ULTIMATE desire for a fresher who has just joined the industry or is a new bee in this arena. Amazingly it even rates higher than the more important and substantial attributes like job profile, quality of work or future career progression.

So why do people carve for working in a foreign land so much? Obviously visiting a new country is always exciting as it gives an opportunity to experience new culture and fulfill ones foreign holiday dreams. Some see it as an opportunity to prove that they have achieved a career or professional high by working in a foreign land. Some see it as a status symbol over others and derive superiority mileage from such opportunities. But in majority of the cases the biggest reason for an onsite trip is to make large sums of money and do a hefty saving which is otherwise not possible in such a short span while working in India. And these savings enables individuals to buy their dream homes and dream cars without much sweat. No wonder people go to extraordinary extents to earn an onsite opportunity. Nothing wrong in that obviously but the herculean efforts that individuals put in to get them are simply hilarious.

But getting one such opportunity doesn't end the story, in fact the change in mannerisms thereafter makes it even more interesting. Thanks to various social networking sites like GTalk, Facebook and Twitter every individual is connected to virtually everybody he has come across all his life till date. Though its a different matter that out of 500 odds friends in the friend list one interacts with only a dozen on a regular basis. But once ones reaches onsite or a foreign land the count exponentially shoots up from a dozen to a few hundreds or even more. How? & Why? The just landed onsite maniac, JLOM, makes it point to socialize with every guy on his friend list ones he steps out of India, irrespective of the fact that he hasn't spoken a word to him in say last 5-7 years or despite the fact that he doesn't has anything substantial to talk. Changing City, Country and Status updates on these networking sites are few of the other modes of attracting attention and declaring that I am currently on a foreign land. But interestingly every effort is been made to ensure that he is not showing off either:)!

And how does this supposedly seamless conversation happens? -

Just landed onsite maniac, JLOM: hey...how are you doing...

Target 37, T37: hi...i am good...long time...how are you? ( whats wrong with this guy...woken up after 8 years..must be something fishy)

JLOM: yeah man...was thinking of buzzing you from a long time...but life is so busy...

T37: yeah..i understand...so what makes you so free today? (come to the point bugger)

JLOM: nothing man...just thought life is always gonna be busy..you have to take out time for your close buds...

T37 : thats so nice of you dude...(cut the crap jerk..i know how close you have been to me in last 8 years)

JLOM: so tell me..what r u doing...

T37: nothing was just about to pack up and go to sleep...you tell..(come to the point jerk...stop fooling around)

JLOM: oh thats great...i am just cooking my lunch...

T37: lunch??? (there you go...)

JLOM: (yes yes yes...i have done it) yeah man...have to do it all on your own here...

T37: ohhh..where are you? (so this was the reason for waking up from a 8 year long slumber)

JLOM: i am in NJ dude....

T37: NJ? (already put on the american jingo s)

JLOM: New Jersey bro...just landed last week..

T37: oh wonderful (landed last week...and can't wait to show off)

T37: so minting money...;)

JLOM: no man...thats not my purpose...i am here to gain global exposure you know....i mean you learn so much interacting with the guys here..

T37: very true...so must be a long stint...(i know a$$h*&# how much you wanna gain)

JLOM: they were pressing for a 2 year stint but i said i wont be able to extend it for over 3 months...

T37: oh...but why..you could have gained far more global exposure with that 2 year stint (i know how hard you might have fought for this 3 months trip)

JLOM: (oh i wish the stint was actually 2 year long...i could have booked a flat in India with those savings :( ) yeah...thats true..but i can't stay away from my family for that long...and trust me India is the best...so I straight away denied their request...

T37: (come on it's enough..i can't handle it anymore) great man...true Indian...ok...i gotta go to sleep now...office tomorrow morning..

JLOM: thanks...sure sure...carry on...will catch you soon...

T37: sure..bye...tc...( i know... catch you soon in your next onsite trip...bugger...)

T37: Tools -> Actions -> Block User -> JLOM

And invariably this happens with every second JLOM, every second trip and in every other friend list. Such is the carving, such is the madness and such is the reality about these trips. Hilarious but true!

kin...

Dhoni the ZEN!

If being the Prime Minister of India is considered as one of the most high pressure job in our country then think twice as being the captain of the Indian cricket team is not far behind in terms of the expectations and complexities involved. The Indian cricket fans are far more demanding than the coalition partners which the honorable Prime Minister has to handle. And it won't be an exaggeration if we rate the Indian cricket fans as the second most demanding and mercurial lot in the world, only behind the Pakistani counterparts especially when it comes to outrageous display of wrath. In this context if one man has done more justice to this throne of thorns than any of his predecessors then it is certainly Mahendra Singh Dhoni.

Dhoni has led magnificently well, using whatever resources he has been provided with, without any time worrying about what he doesn't have. The biggest reason of his huge success as a captain is that he is not afraid of criticism, always backs his instincts and keep things simple, interestingly all great leader have these qualities. And what better example of this but his brave act in the finals when he promoted himself in the batting order and came in to bat ahead of the Man of the Tournament (read Yuvraj Singh). That single act embodied a real intent to win and importantly showed a willingness to lead from the front. At that crucial juncture he could have quite easily let Yuvraj or Raina go in and sat comfortably in the dressing room but the man backed himself to face a crisis without dithering, no wonder the entire world is singing praises about the man and he has been unanimously promoted from a good captain to an all time great.

Dhoni has reached a stage in his career, more so in his popularity that his every single move is followed by millions. Sachin Tendulkar may be the presiding deity of Indian cricket, the ultimate batting god who has broken all possible records in the game but Dhoni is someone fans have started to worship from afar. From his hairstyle to his helicopter shot, Dhoni's every single move is closely watched, adored and followed by the millions across the country. Dhoni's is truly a story that every common man can relate to, coming from a middle class backdrop, not being a metropolitan lad, climbing the success ladder the hard way are some of the traits that make him so popular and relatable among masses. No wonder the champion player endorses brands like Sonata, Big Bazaar, Orient PSPO and Siyaram's and not the high end Tissots, Spencers, Bluestars and Reid & Taylors as they are very much in line with his personality and the middle class sentiments. And despite all this adulation and idolising, the calm and poise the superstar exhibits is exemplary; probably it's a trademark and an inherent quality in all the icons.

But like any other riveting story, Dhoni's has also had it's share of lows. The champion player has been criticized for giving away his original and attacking style of stroke play for a more cautious and circumspect one. He has also been flaked for relying too much on his instincts rather than on cricketing logic. His decision of persisting with Ravindra Jadega for longer than normal despite latter’s consistently dismal performances baffled one and all, including myself. And off-late the decision that made him face the wrath from all corners was the one when he relentlessly kept on picking Piyush Chawla over R Ashwin in the World Cup, despite former's poor show and latter’s impressive track record. This decision was utterly baffling for all and defied every cricketing logic but Dhoni being his true self remained unfazed by all the drama surrounding his decision and eventually came out trumps.

Dhoni might not be the best player to have donned the Indian cap but he is certainly more effective than the most. He might not have the best technique as a batsman but he performs and delivers better than those who have it. He has this unique knack of knowing his limitations as a player and he makes best utilization of his limited abilities. Certainly he is not as talented as Sachin, Sehwag or Yuvraj but he makes the best use of whatever he has been gifted with. Numbers tell that Dhoni has already stamped his authority as one of the best Captain India has ever produced but if there is one thing that drives this man farther than the most then it's his TEMPERAMENT. He has never been seen losing his temper in 8 years of his cricketing career nor have we seen him yelling on any of his team mates in his 3 years tenure as the skipper. The Zen like calm, composure and the cool that surrounds the man not only instills confidence in the fellow team mates but also gives hope to the millions of fan.

Life being the best leveler will pose tougher challenges for Dhoni too and someday even his Midas touch will fade. And then it needs to be seen, whether that Zen like calm and poise still remains. But even in those not so glorious days we should not undermine or forget the unthinkable feats the team has achieved under his leadership and the unparalleled joy and ecstasy the man has brought to the millions.

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kin...

Wanted - 1.2 Billion Hazares!

Barely three days after the monumental world cup victory one man took away the entire sheen away from the nationwide celebrations and literally stalled this never before euphoria. Interestingly nobody even raised a voice against this disruption in celebrations, naturally if the chief protagonist is a sprightly septuagenarian fighting against the age old vice of corruption in our system then there can't be any dissentful voices against such a noble cause. The Padma Bhushan awardee, ex army man who fought the 1965 Indo-Pak war, the Gandhian who single handedly built a village in the Ahmed Nagar district of Maharashtra and transformed it from a poverty clad village to a self sustained model village which is now among the richest village in India. The warrior, the braveheart and the visionary Mr Anna Hazare is known for his hard ways and ability to fight for such social causes with utmost zeal, no wonder he is getting such unprecedented support from all corners of the country.

But how can one curb corruption by going on a hunger strike? Corruption in our country is a routine act which is not only practised by the politicians and bureaucrats but is widely endorsed by even the poorest. So how can a hunger strike abolish this genetic disease? Well if we closely dwell on Hazare's demand he is advocating for The Jan Lokpal Bill that will form an autonomus authority who will make politicians, bureaucrats and all the ministers accountable for their deeds. Also the demand emphasizes on a 50-50 participation between the government and public in the committee formulation for the enactment of the bill which will minimize the extent of manuevering on government's part for its own benefit. Naturally the objective and the intent behind the protest being so genuine, constructive and visionary, support from one and all in the country was bound to come. And the government bowing down to these long pending demand with the whole of nation backing the cause was also just a matter of fact and time.

The entire movement has been a victory of the very idea of democracy, victory for the people of this great nation and a victory for INDIA. And hats to Mr Hazare, the man behind this mass movement who dared against all odds to fight for a cause that has crippled the growth of this nation and tarnished it's image globally. But the big question is can this movement really eradicate corruption from our system? It's really a herculean task. The joint committee can have a 50% public participation but can that still have the power to formulate full proof rules? The much demanded bill can make the politicians and bureaucrats accountable for their deeds but can it really punish them for those deeds within the time frame? Can this movement stop you from bribing the traffic policeman at the signal? Can this bill prevent you from buying a high profile cricket match ticket for black? Can this wave of change stop you from paying those extra bucks to a clerk to get your home loan sanctioned at a faster pace? Well the issue is way beyond just these ministers and officers, the gene of corruption is ingrained in each one of us.Unless we mend our ways individually there is no point aiming for the larger picture because we are the breeding grounds on which these politicians and bureaucrats prosper.

Mr Hazare is a proven servant of this nation and he has truly played his part in starting this revolutionary fight against corruption. But we have a long way to go. Merely lighting candles, joining rallies and abusing the politicians won't serve the purpose. We got to cleanse ourselves internally, we need to recharge our conscience, we need to develop the patience to traverse the longer path to get things done. Only then we can assimilate that strength based on which Mr Hazare has single handedly routed the government, otherwise it's just another filmy stunt that will loose all it's fizz as the the time passes by.

Long Live Hazare, Long live the fight against Evil!

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kin...

The Cup that INDIA really counts!

In a backdrop of continued hues and cries against the abolishment of 50 over format of the game what we witnessed over the last 40 odd days was one of the most successful ODI World Cup till date. Successful not only because the host nation lifted the trophy to create a record of its kind but more so for the euphoria and excitement this event generated by the quality of the cricket being played. Successful not only because it gave the lesser known associate nations a chance to showcase their skills but also because it witnessed a resurgence of old warriors and new heroes of the game who will become the flag bearers of tomorrow. Successful not only because the event generated unsurmountable moolah for the organizers and sponsors but also because it kept the shameful and longstanding vices of corruption and bureaucracy at the bay.

There were varying theories leading to the world cup as to which team thoroughly deserves to win the world cup, most of these being discussed and debated endlessly in the studios of numerous 24*7 news channels and the sports column of leading newspapers.Team India were dubbed as the clear favorites not only by the experts and pundits but also by the leading betting agencies, the logic behind this tag was certainly a very strong and consistent string of performances in the last 2-3 years. If one set of experts professed South Africa as the true contenders of the coveted trophy based on their consistent performances, strong squad and playing against the choking odds and not so encouraging history to lift their first ICC trophy. The other set of pundits cautioned the rivals against the down by certainly not out Aussies, based on their strong ODI side, impressive performance in the recently concluded ODI series against the Ashes Warriors, advantage of being the proud owners of the No.1 spot in the ODIs and an impressive unbeaten record in the world cups for the last 12 odd years. Some experts even backed Srilanka to lift the trophy based on their consistent and impeccable performance in the subcontinent conditions and also emphasizing the fact that the Lankan lions were the runners up in the last edition of the world cup. The dangerous Underdogs tag was unanimously kept aside for the mercurial Pakistani side who despite their ever so familiar crises of match fixing and internal rifts were looking ominous and confident after a good showing in the Kiwi land.

It may be a bit unfair to state this but cricketing logic apart if there was one team that truly deserved this trophy more than any other team at this juncture it was Team India. India has been a powerhouse of Cricket for over two decades now, not only in terms of revenue generation but also in terms of mass following. If there is any sport which comes close to this euphoric and crazy follower-ship than it is certainly soccer but otherwise there is no match to the hysteria, festivity and togetherness this game(cricket) generates in this vast country. So if 1983 was the seed which triggered this phenomenon it was certainly the dividends time for the ardent fans of the game in this cricket crazy nation. The fan in this country has gone through everything to support the game and his/her team, so much so that it was certainly the payback time for the game to its staunchest supporters. Naturally a majority of youth in this nation has not experienced what it means to win this coveted trophy. All their lives they have either watched Australians lifting the trophy every four years or those virtually black and white images of Kapil Dev lifting the trophy almost three decades back. So for a fan who breeds on cricket and follows Indian team day in day out, it was high team he/she actually experiences this feeling first hand. And it's not that this premise has been built upon just these emotional cursors, obviously the team has been doing exceptionally well and showcasing high degree of consistency in all formats of the game. So if there was one time when this team truly deserved to win the cup, it was NOW. Not only the game owed a lot to the loyalist fan of this nation but it also owed something to the little genius (not withstanding the fact that no individual is greater than the game) who has been the best servant to this beautiful game for over two decades now, Sachin Tendulkar, and is all for sure playing his last world cup.

By the virtue of a strong team performance, high quality captaincy and a solid fan support the team went on to win the much awaited and a well deserved title and no points for guessing the entire nation went berserk. But the journey wasn't as smooth as it seems, if Viru's bangla bashing was celebrated across the nation, Team India's not so impressive bowling performance against the minnows raised quite a few eyebrows. If master blaster gave the nation hundreds of runs to smile about, the nation breathed fire every time Chawla was picked in the squad. If Zaheer Khan instilled confidence in the prayer murmuring lips of millions, the likes of Nehra and Munaf literally dozed off the nation. If Yuvraj's new found savior avatar was the talk of the nation, Dhoni lack of batting form till the final was a constant cause of worry in every household. Such is the insight about this game in a common man that every Indian has an advice or two for the Captain and interestingly most of them aren't that bad either. Eventually with thousands of Pujas and Havanas, millions of fan mails, billions of superstitions and little bit of cricket on the field the Team went on to the lift the World Cup.

And the atmosphere and the feeling that descended on this reverberating nation thereafter was certainly a never before. Millions on the street, crackers all over the sky, tricolor in every hand and hugs and hand shakes all around. If there was any event that could come close or super-cede this celebration and euphoria it can't be anything other than the night of 15th August 1947, such was the feeling and joyousness the swept across the nation. And seeing the bonding which this victory generated, even the likes of Aussies, South Africans, Lankans and Pakistanis wouldn't deny the fact that if there was one team or rather one nation that truly deserved this title at this juncture it was certainly INDIA!

Perspective: It would have augured well for this nation and the team if the cash rich IPL4 would have started a little later, as it would have given us a little more time to savior and cherish this memorable victory!

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kin...

The Royal Bengal Snub!

Bingo! Yet again the IPL frenzy has lived up to its expectations of creating a buzz which no other event or phenomenon has created so consistently in the recent past. And with the recently concluded player auctions breaking new grounds, the buzz again was more so for non cricketing reasons rather than the in-field histrionics. So if the high billing fetched by Gambhirs, Pathans and Rohit Sharmas created a huge uproar than the big names like Lara, Gayle and Jayasurya remaining unsold till the end, almost generated a seismic wave of sorts. But undoubtedly the biggest drama of this IPL event has the Royal Bengal Snub, where in one of the most stylish left hander of the nation till date, also the most flamboyant captain of all times and undoubtedly the Brave heart of Indian cricketing history, Sourav 'DADA' Ganguly went unsold with not a single franchise (out of 10) bidding for him in the two day event.


So is this a fair treatment on the part of the franchises? For a legend who was given the iconic status at the inception of IPL; For a master player who has scored almost 20,000 international runs; For a Captain who has changed the way India plays and takes on its rival on the cricket field; For a mentor who has nurtured champion players like Yuvraj, Zaheer and Bhajji; For a senior statesman who has been the team's (KKR) highest run getter and by far the best performer in IPL 1 & 3; For a swashbuckler who has been a better suited player in this format, at least in comparison to the likes of Dravid & Laxman; For a man who has been the identity and face of the Cricket Crazy land of Kolkata; is this is fair deal? On the face of it and on the factual grounds this definitely seems to be a selfish and an unfair treatment, but their surely is a flip side to this story too.


First of all this is a corporate driven event and when corporate entities are involved in the setup along with their million dollar investments, certainly they are here to win and not to please people or to soothe emotions. So if they don't see a value for investment with Ganguly, they are perfectly alright in their decision. If they feel that Ganguly's presence won't add to the team atmosphere or to the team's strength then Ganguly's laurels of the past count for nothing. And also if these franchises are here to make money, so are the players, certainly the retired players because whatever they have to prove on cricketing grounds they have done that on the international arena for past 10-15-20 years, naturally they here to make quick bucks. So sympathizing, criticizing, mourning or burning effigies (of the franchise owner) is all rubbish because the bottom line is, this isn't cricket this is pure business.

But why have the franchises chosen the likes of Dravid & Laxman over Ganguly, when undoubtedly Ganguly is a proven better performer in the shorter format? One lame reason can be that these two gentleman are still playing international cricket vis-a-vis Dada who has retired two years back. But it's a matter of common knowledge that the true reasons are beyond the boundaries of cricket grounds and are surely non-cricketing. Sourav's strong personality, once his strength has become the cause of his nemesis. We know that the former Indian Captain loves to lead from the front, so for the franchises who might have thought of roping in Dada might have feared the fact that if he is in the squad he has to be made the skipper. And with Ganguly in the team, the team will be build around him rather than him being a part of the team. His stardom, his personality or more so his ways are far more unfitting in the present day context. Throughout his career he has played and marshaled as a Prince, but now that his batting powers are only a shade of what they used to be say 3-4 years back, naturally he can't expect to still reap benefits on his past laurels. Undoubtedly, he is not a demolisher or a destructor who used to ruin bowler's careers few years back, so to not accommodate such a player is more of a prudent thing than a selfish one.

Bid or no bid, sold or unsold Ganguly is and will always remain a legend and a true champion of the game. But it's time that Dada himself starts accepting some facts which might be bitter in taste but will surely help him in keeping intact his legacy. That's what Anil Kumble did by retracting his name from the auction list and concentrating solely on the administrative side of things, though he could have easily been picked by any of the franchises but he was smart enough to foresee the writing on the wall and hanged his boots gracefully.Though this will remain a debatable issue but one thing that fans all across the nation need to do, is to tone down their mercurial instincts when it comes to handling such issues because every champion has to go one day to make way for a new champion.

Perspective: IPL snub aside, if Dada still wants to continue playing solely for cricketing reasons, he can continue representing Bengal in the domestic circuit but that might prove to be a far more unattractive and financially in viable alternative for him!

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kin...