The Demonetization Storm – Behind the scenes parody.

“This is a work of fiction - any resemblance to actual persons or event living or dead is purely intentional”

This is a small behind the scenes parody about the recently announced biggest demonetization drive of the century, which has shaken the entire nation, especially the political class. The key characters involved in these conversations are-

Mr Moti – Jumla King of India, travel junkie, also works as the Prime Minister in free time.

Mr Tetley – One of the renowned lawyers of the country, claims himself to be the Finance Minister of the country.

Mr Susu Swami – Julian Assange of India, owner of Gandhi Leaks.

Mr Baijnath Singh – Home Minster of India, better known as Ninda Mama for his ability to criticize anybody and everybody for anything untoward.

Mr DhaaGa – Prime Minister in waiting since 1970, India’s entry to World IQ competition.

Mr Farjiwal – Flag bearer of the Harish Chandra clan, born with a motto to oppose Mr Moti till the last breath, also the Cheap Minister of Delhi.

Ms Samta Sadisabji – The mercurial head of state of West Bengal, aspires to be the leader of a secular front, most concerned about the poor of the country.

Mr Sanak Power – Shrewd veteran politician, once a kingmaker, now a homemaker, makes appearance only during the major national events.

Mr Malham Singh – Former Chief Minister of the largest state of the country, struggling for a firm hold on his party against his own son.

Ms Dayawati  - Former Chief Minister of the largest state of the country, better known for her huge statues across the state, proclaims herself to be the messiah of the Dalits.

Nov 8^th 2016, 8 PM, New Delhi - Prime Minister Moti addresses the nation and announces the biggest demonetization drive of the country by banning Rs 500 & Rs 1000 notes from midnight, with a firm vision to eradicate black money.

Excerpts

Mr Moti (to the nation)– We have been working on this project with full secrecy from last 8 months and only a handful were aware and involved in this project.

Mr Tetley (to Mr Susu Swami) – I am the finance minister of the country and I had no clue about such a high profile project until yesterday!

Mr Susu Swami – Finance Minister?? Oh yes! That’s surprising, if you are the FM, you should have been involved in this project.

Mr Susu Swami – Nonetheless, I know all the details, as I was the one who proposed this historic idea to Moti.

Mr Tetley – Don’t brag, I got a whatsapp message from Baijnath Singh that it was some NGO guy, Mr Bokil whose 9 min meeting got extended to a 2 hour seminar and Moti got started thereafter.

Mr Susu Swami – Mr Bokil is my guy and he also has a count of all the Rs. 500 & Rs. 1000 notes that Dhaaga and his family hold. I will expose them in few days.

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Nov 8^th 2016, 8.29 PM, New Delhi – Mr Farjiwal calls up Mr Dhaaga

Mr Farjiwal (to Mr Dhaaga) – Are you watching Moti’s new bomb against black money and corruption?

Mr Dhaaga – No man, I am busy with Chota Bheem Childrens Day weeks special marathon episode on Pogo. What happened, all ok?

Mr Farjiwal – It was surgical strike last month and now it’s an even bigger dhamaka. He is making his Jumlas true one by one, leave aside 2019, now even 2024 looks uncertain for us.

Mr Dhaaga – Can’t be true man, I can’t wait to be the PM for so long, Sanak uncle told me he will make me PM by 2019 for sure.

Mr Farjiwal – Then do something, we need to oppose it right away.

Mr Dhaaga – But how can you oppose it, you are the self-anointed crusader against corruption and black money.

Mr Farjiwal – That’s right, how can he hijack my agenda. We have to oppose it and make it dirty as soon as possible.

Mr Dhaaga – I don’t know man what should I do, let me talk to Sanak uncle for ideas.

Mr Farjiwal – Ok fine, I will arrange for a press conference to misguide people and downplay Moti’s new gimmick.

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Nov 9^th 2016 - Headlines

Mr Sanak Power appreciates Moti’s demonetization move.

Mr Ganna Hazare applauds Moti’s sincerity to fight corruption.

Top industrialists and sportsmen welcome Moti’s anti - black money crusade.

Baba Kamdev appeals to the nation to support Moti in his fight against black money.

Ms Samata Sadisabji calls demonetization a draconian move, a curse for the poor.

Nov 9^th 2016, 10.15 AM, New Delhi – Mr Dhaaga calls up Mr Sanak Power

Mr Dhaaga (To Mr Sanak Power) – Sanak Uncle, did you see what Moti did? Can you please issue a statement against him and guide me on my next move?

Mr Sanak Power – Son, I have just issued a congratulatory message for his decision in the media.

Mr Dhaaga – How can you do that? What about your own treasure, how will you take care of that?

Mr Sanak Power – I was aware of this and I have already taken care of it. And appreciating him was important to keep the focus away from me.

Mr Dhaaga – Very clever. How about me?

Mr Sanak Power (consolatory tone) – You can’t be clever now son, you are too old for it!

Mr Dhaaga (furious) – I meant, how about me, what should I do now, he has once again stolen all the limelight.

Mr Sanak Power – Walk to the nearest bank branch, stand in the queue with the mob, let them click some selfies, criticize the government for poor management and ask your party workers to fake support few elderly in the queue.

Mr Dhaaga – You mean the same trick that we played out by eating at farmers hut and meeting the grieving soldiers family?

Mr Sanak Power – Yes, my son.

Mr Dhaaga – You are a rock star uncle, I will certainly give you a plump portfolio in 2019.

Mr Sanak Power – Amen!

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Nov 9^th 2016, 6.15 PM, New Delhi – Mr Farjiwal holds a press conference in wake of the economic emergency in the country

Reporter – Mr Cheap Minister, Mr Moti’s move is historic, what are your thoughts on it?

Mr Farjiwal – This is a plot against the poor. Mr Moti’s sole aim is to harass the poor people of India.

Reporter – But Sir, this move is revolutionary and will help is curbing the corruption and also fight against the black money menace. Even your guru Mr. Ganna Hazare has backed it.

Mr Farjiwal – Ganna is innocent. Banning 500 & 1000 notes can never curb black money, real black money is stashed outside India in the foreign banks.

Reporter – Sir, in 2014 when Mr Moti requested the European banks to cooperate with him in unearthing the black money, you professed that the real black money is stashed inside the country. You are contradicting yourself now.

Mr Farjiwal – Mr Moti is working for the NATAs, Badani and Dambanis, he doesn’t care about the poor.

Reporter – Sir you haven’t answered by question.

Mr Farjiwal – Ignores.

Reporter – Sir you should join hands with Mr Moti and support him as you have positioned yourself as  the brand ambassador of anti-corruption movement in India.

Mr Farjiwal – I can’t join hands with communal forces whose only agenda is to cause inconvenience to the people by means of riots and unlawful situations.

Reporter – Sir, riots and unlawful situation? But there are absolutely no news of any unrest anywhere in the country and people are fully supportive of this move.

Mr Farjiwal – Yes I would like to thank my party workers for it. We are keeping a close eye on the law and order situation in the country and our workers will ensure that despite Mr Moti’s ulterior motive the situation remains in control.

Press conference ends

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Nov 10^th 2016 - Headlines

Unreserved Bank of India confirms a collection of over Rs 1 Lakh crore corpus in the first 2 days of the demonetization drive.

Government admits lack of preparation in the smooth execution of demonetization drive, pledges to work towards improving public inconvenience.

Mr Moti addresses a rally in Goa, declares demonetization drive a huge success, thanks the nation and warns of more strict measures in the days to come.

Ms Dayawati criticizes Mr Moti for his inhuman move.

Nov 10^th 2016, 8.20 PM, New Delhi, All Party Meet to formulate a strategy against Moti’s Demonetization storm

Mr Dhaaga – We can’t let Moti ruin our political careers by killing us with one blow after the other every few days. If this goes on, we won’t even have 4 of our 44 seats!

Mr Sanak Power – But we can’t blindly oppose anything and everything, certainly not this drive as this will show us all in a bad light.

Ms Samata Sadisabji – This is against the poor, we all have to unite to work together in the common interest of our nation.

Mr Sanak Power – Madam, relax you are not in front of the cameras, hold on to your drama.

Mr Farjiwal – We have to play the law and order card, give it a communal flavor and spread the fire across the nation.

Mr Dhaaga – But there is hardly any unrest, people are happily queuing up and are smiling for selfies.

Mr Malham Singh – Someone tell me, what I should do with all the note bundles that my party men have been working on for last 3 months in preparation for the state elections?

Ms Dayawati – Drain them down, it was anyways my turn to be the CM. You forgot our odd even formula?

Mr Farjiwal – O come on, what OUR formula? It is my formula!

Mr Malham Singh – Son, relax. You focus on preparing for Moti’s next bonanza, this deal is already a lost one.

Mr Sanak Power – I second Malham, we can’t cross the line on this one, it will expose us all.

Mr Dhaaga – But I will be the PM in 2019, right?

All (on chorus) – Certainly :).

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