The 2017 Date with the New Years Resolution Monster.

It was new year’s eve and Santa was back home up north after a long and arduous journey across the globe. As he crashed on to his couch he summoned the Resolution Monster to set off on a similar, across the globe trail, to register the new year resolutions. Resolution Monster being his lazy-self decided to visit only an interesting few; and there resolutions for 2017 are as recorded below.

Donald Trump – My resolution for the year is to also run the country and try not to focus on just highlighting how dumb witted Hillary and her likes are.

Shahid Afridi – I vow to play for the U-19 world cup for Pakistan and Insha Allah bring glory to my nation.

Rahul Gandhi – My resolution for the year is to help the poor of the country by providing them one ‘aloo factory’ per household.

Yograj Singh -  I decide to make Mahendra Singh Dhoni the captain of Indian test team, so that I can blame him for Yuvraj’s ouster from the test team.

Arvind Kejriwal – My resolution for 2017 is to expose Mr Modi and his government on all fronts without compromising on my weekly movie reviews.

Navjot Singh Sidhu – I plan to be part of Samajwadi Party, Bahujan Samaj Party and CPI in 2017 and also be the judge on at least 5 more comedy shows.

Himesh Reshamiya – My 2017 resolution is to (re)launch myself in Bollywood as an action hero and register Bollywood’s first 1000 crore movie.

By now the  resolution monster has had enough with these bizarre resolutions. So as the last shot, he happened to visit me to register my 2017 resolutions. But by now he was furious, so rather than just registering my 2017 resolutions he started by asking me how did I fare in 2016 with my resolutions. I wasn’t having a very rosy report card but I confided with whatever I had accomplished –

·         2016 Resolution 1: To write at least 2 blogs every month, plus 4 technical blogs in the year –  Couldn’t match up to this and out of a target of 26, I could only churn out 14 (11+3). No apparent reason for this other than laziness.

·         2016 Resolution 2: To read at least 12 good books in the year – Did well on this one and read as many as 15 books across genres. And if not for the Game of Thrones book 1, which took a lot of time to complete, the overall count could have been much higher.

·         2016 Resolution 3: To go on 1 solo vacation this year – The most fun of all the 2016 resolutions and I accomplished this with flying colors by being to picturesque Cinque Terre, Italy, all by myself.

·         2016 Resolution 4: To work out for at least 150 days in the year and giving away on Pizza for the year – Yes and No. The most satisfying bit for 2016 was my gym discipline throughout the year, as I was in the gym working out from the 1^st day of the year till 31^st Dec with over 200 days of workout in between. Gratifying indeed. Though, giving away on Pizza for the year didn’t happen, and how can it happen if one happens to be in Italy 3 times in the year. But over 200 days of working out kind of compensated for it J.

·         2016 Resolution 5: Spending some quality personal time with parents and old friends – Did well on this as well, spent real quality time with not just my parents but with old pals too. Blissful!

The resolution monster was all teary by now and he couldn’t stopped himself from giving me a bear hug and roared in full gusto ‘go on superstar, announce your 2017 vows and I am sure you would be the only one among st the many I have visited today, to keep your head high when I come back again on 2018’s new year’s eve’.

And that got my 2017 resolutions officially registered –

·         2017 Reading Resolution : To read at least 12 good books in the year – This one stays as is, though I would want to outperform myself by reading far many interesting books this year around. So much for the joy of being in love with a beautiful book all the time J.

·         2017 Writing Resolution : To write at least 2 blogs every month in the year –  As much as I love writing, I have been failing to clock this one from last 2 years, I hope I show better discipline in 17’ and nab it this time.

·         2017 Me Time Resolution : To go on 1 solo vacation this year – I am in so much love with this one that I couldn’t think of doing away with it. Though, it’s not easy to plan and execute it for obviously ‘scary reasons’ but clocking this resolution in the year is the real icing on the cake.

·         2017 Fitness Resolution : To work out for at least 200  days in the year  – With the kind of discipline I have exhibited on this front, in addition to other activities like playing tennis and swimming, I feel confident to raise the bar a bit higher than the last year, all with a goal to stay fit and get fitter by every passing year.

·         2017 Family Time Resolution : Spend more quality time with Avyaan by reducing my daily screen time – Unfortunately, post office hours are primarily eaten up by the Facebooks, Kindles and Netflix of the worlds, all at the expense of Avyaan also spending more than usual hours on his ipad. So I vow to reduce/negate my screen time while he is awake, to spend more quality time with him.

The resolution monster gleefully registered all my 2017 resolutions, wished me luck and signed off for the year by greeting me ‘Happy New Year’.

So like every year the goals have been set and the set resolutions would be chased to keep the year interesting till the 31^st of Dec. And like always, there would be lot of other soft resolutions too that would be chased, something on the lines of ‘buying that expensive watch that I have been eyeing for last 2 years’, ‘being in Wimbledon Championships again with a hope to see King Federer in action’, ‘attend one of India’s matches for the 2017 Champions Trophy edition’ and lastly try to be happier.

Happy New Year 2017!

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kin…

Post Script – There are only few of my friends who indulge in resolution ‘making and keeping’ exercise but one of them who always manages to impress me with the sheer simplicity of his resolutions is Nitesh. So while he vowed to brush before bed every night in 2016, he has taken a resolution to get up and take bath at 6 every morning. As always, way to go bro J.