Side effects of being in LOOOVE!

Many of my friends have shared the experiences of their love lives at various times with me and I couldn’t stop laughing on each of those hilariously weird stories. Though obviously some of the incidents are really serious ones and the guys involved in them would hardly find them funny and might even kill me for laughing on their sorry state but for everybody else it’s a really nightmare to stop oneself from laughing on those anecdotes. What I don’t understand is with such a high degree of drama involved which might even beat the theatrical excellence of Ekta Kapoor, with such a high degree of tension prevailing between the warring couple which might even outpower the indo-pak border tensions and with the huge operating and maintenance cost involved to keep the love alive which might even overshoot the annual budget for a country like Bhutan, why are these guys still keen in being a part of this setup. Probably because pleasure lies in the pain;).

Some years back one of my close friends who had this craze of having a girl friend eventually happened to woo one of the girls in our group and was super excited with the fact that he too now belongs to the elite league of guys who have a girl friend. But his hyper excitement evaporated in few days which compelled me to ask him ‘What happened bro?’ To which he hesitatingly replied, ‘ there is something wrong with my gal, initially she used to call me day in day out but from last few days she is just giving me missed calls, indicating me to give a call back. Earlier I did that without giving a second thought but now I have realized that my expenses on mobile recharge has increased so exorbitantly that I don’t even have the money to take her out for a samosa treat or get my bike fuelled. I even tried giving her a hint but her reply was ‘now money is more important than me, right? ‘and she didn’t pick my call for next two days though I often found her phone busy’. I couldn’t say anything on this to my friend because you can’t talk and laugh simultaneously JJJ.

Another friend of mine who considers himself very smart, infact he proclaims himself to be the smartest in the herd, tried to impress his girl friend once by flattering her by his culinary skills. He gave her a surprise by cooking a very good meal for her and in turn got loads and loads of appreciation, love, affection and what nots from his girl friend. Moreover he even became a cause of envy for the other guys in the group, as these poor guys were subjected to the wrath of their gals everyday to learn some cooking from this smart stud. And eventually this smartest guy in the herd went on to marry his girlfriend but the scenario changed completely in due course, and all the guys in the group who felt humiliated because of him at one point are laughing there hearts out because the poor guy keeps on complaining all the time that from that day onwards I am the one who is doing all the cooking and my gal just relishes, reviews or criticizes my cooking JJJ.

Infact the very same guy gave yet another proof of his smartness by projecting himself as DIFFERENT from the herd by showing unexpected interest in shopping. No wonder his gal was very happy with this weirdly different habit of his, as shopping is the best rather the only hobby which girls pursue with full dedication. To start off with he couldn’t foresee the side effects of this move but very soon he realized that he has once again dug up his own grave. The situation is so bad now, that when all of us enjoy our weekends watching movies or matches at home, the poor guy religiously drives his wife to all the shopping malls in the town and even turns up into a part time coolie carrying loads of shopping bags. And the last thing which he wants from us is a discussion on his weekend shopping trysts JJJ.

Another poor friend of mine was very disturbed from his self obsessed beauty conscious girl friend who couldn’t stand any other girl around even if she is much inferior to her in looks and the only question she had for everybody around was ‘how am I looking today?’ Obviously she was the most beautiful gal in the world for my poor friend when he fell in love with her, but very soon he got so irritated with her self obsession that he started saying ‘that you are looking very gorgeous today’ even before she said anything to him. Naturally things started to worsen fast but they turned into a debacle when once his ‘aaah so beautiful girl friend’ was thrashing him for having a Pamela Anderson wallpaper on his mobile, the poor guy tried his best to keep his frustration in check but failed to do so beyond a point and vented all his wrath on his petulant girl friend but the final nail on the coffin was his caustic statement that ‘ if you really wana look beautiful wear such skimpy clothes and dress scantily otherwise you are as good as Nana Patekar’JJJ. And that was the last time they talked, but we still pull their legs by the names of Pamela and Nana;).

But one trait with which many of my friends have suffered a lot or are still suffering is the stigma resulting from the ‘transactions of gifts’. Invariably all their girlfriends start the countdown for their own b’days two months in advance and they make sure to start the day with a header note ‘only 58 days to goJ’ and end the day on a footer note ‘now only 57 days to goJ’ . But this is not all, in this period they even start enumerating the items they don’t have or are planning to have on an urgent basis and the poor guy has no other option but to assimilate that huge amount to buy those highly expensive gift items be it a branded swiss watch, diamond studded ring or an expensive touch screen cell phone. And unfortunately he gets no points for doing all this either because ‘ this was expected out of him’. But the things get worse when the guy’s b’day comes, the poor guys expects a decent gift in return of that expensive swiss watch but what he gets in turn is a Greeting Card. Rationale behind that greeting card being, gal to boy – ‘you know baby, I have made this card all on my own, each and every word on that card is original and I mean them by heart’. But the poor girl is unaware that even guys have access to Dr Google through which they can find each and every quote she has copiedJ. One of my friend is so irritated with this vicious gifting cycle that he claims that he can even open a full fledged card gallery without investing a penny JJJ.

One more constant point of debate or rather misery in the beautiful love lives of my friends is the CELL PHONE. Last weekend one of my pals invited me for a stay at his place as his live-in girl friend was out of town and he might have finished only two pegs of vodka that he started his lamentation. I was praising his girl friend for keeping the place so organized and clean, when he vehemently stopped me and said ‘ that lady whom you are referring to as your BHABHIJI is not a normal woman, she is a CBI agent, she scans, frisks and investigates all the messages sent or received; all thecalls made, missed or received with such an authority as if she has been delegated my case by the honorable Prime Minister himself, and I can’t even afford to object to any of these frightening activities, otherwise pat comes the reply that why are you scared, have you done anything wrong? And over this, if at any point in the day she calls me and finds my phone busy, then it’s a nightmare for me, she grills me to such an extent that I feel guilty of being a co-conspirator in 26/11 Mumbai attacks. And if somehow I found her phone busy some day and I can garner strength to ask her that whose call was it, she will bombard me with accusations like – you don’t trust me, you are suspicious about me etc etc etc.’ And he went on for hours and I don’t think I have ever laughed harder than that ever in my life, but the poor guy still laments that you can only understand the fun out of my misery and not the suffering I am subjected to and my reply to him on this always happens to be ‘but my dear friend, who asked you to fall in love and invite this misery JJJ’

Obviously not all love stories are this tragic, dramatic or eventful; there are certainly those SRK type love stories too:). But I still don’t understand why people are still plugged into such relationships when they spend half their time lamenting and fighting over petty issues and the other half in mending those issuesJ. Certainly nobody wants to fall into such a situation and there is no denying the fact that love is the most beautiful thing which can happen to anybody but still such awkward things do happen because of the immaturity and impatience on the part of the individuals. But as long as one is not involved into this mess or some may say bliss everything seems funny, its only when you are a part of this brouhaha you feel the real brunt or the side effects of being in LOOOVEJJJ.

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