Horrid adaptation to the Wify's mode of Shopping!

Few months earlier shopping to me meant buying of bare minimum things in life, like clothes, footwear,watches,eatables and occasionally some gadgets like cell phone, cds and laptop. And none of these buyouts took more than half and hour or so, 20 minutes for googling and finalising the model or the variant and 10 minutes inside the shop for completing the transaction and coming out with the desired item. But things have changed drastically for me in the last few months, no need to mention this change is again attributed to my change in status not the financial status because that has become even more miserable,I was living with the hope that my salary will automatically double in due course but things have rather taken an altogether sad turn, earlier I used to pay for 1 credit card bill but now by default I am paying for 2 (unfortunately the 2nd is not by my name), earlier (most of the times) I used to pay only for my clothes, watches, foot wears and gadgets but now by default I am paying for hers too, earlier I used to at least get some tranquilizers by means of occasional gifts but now such inflows have virtually ceased rather the outflows have almost doubled, needless to say I am paying for two mobile bills now, earlier when the flat rent used to be shared by 5 guys, I am paying the entire sum now, so with the Internet, maid, electricity and numerous other routine things. Understandably the financial status has changed the other way round, but the status change which I am emphasizing on is the marital status, undoubtedly life has become beautiful and pleasantly different after this marital status change but still these little, funny and financially aching things are worth mentioning:).

So when few days back Mi lord expressed the desire to visit the near by pottery shop to buy some articles I thought it won't be a big exercise but will limit only to buying some flower pots and clay water containers. However as always she proved me utterly wrong and it turned out to be an exhausting affair, but thanks to my learnings from past experiences I applied all my skills to weather this storm in the most prudent way I can and I think eventually I came out with a minimal damage. When we reached the pottery shop, I realized that it is injustice to call this a shop because the size and diversity which that outlet possessed, it was a virtual pottery supermarket and also the beginning of my miseries. No wonder the expected 20-30 minute affair turned out into 2 hour long excursion in which Mi Lord analysed, en-quired and bargained on all the items present in the store. She spent ample amount of time on almost each of the items present there, while I was cursing myself all the while but still wearing that plastic smile of a very sensible and accommodating husband accompanying her patiently in all her scrutinies.

In another 90 minutes of time she finalised two show pieces which looked grossly ugly to me, but I couldn't gather the strength to express my true feelings and I opted for the safe path of patience and admiration. She then picked up a handmade clay tortoise, which was probably a keyholder or a fruit holder or a coin holder, infact I still don't know what it is meant for but by the look of it that certainly seemed to be a useless object at that point , but Mi-lord was so enchanted by it that I preferred to keep mum. Then amidst her own calculations and logics behind buying that article she murmured that keeping a tortoise (type article) in the house brings lots of money, naturally hearing this me being a typical man started feeling for that lifeless tortoise and all of a sudden that ugly tortoise seemed to me the most beautiful creation in the world by man. Awe-inspiring ! Thereafter I praised that tortoise to such extents that even she became sure about buying that tortoise. She eventually went on to buy as many as 5 useless show pieces in that 2 hours span but I was very content with my conduct during this otherwise stupid and meaningless shopping session, though admittedly that tortoise was also one of the reason why my irritation and cribbing quotient was remarkably low that day:).

But this was not the only instance with her highness when I have to operate out of my '30 minute shop anything funda', it had happened quite a few times earlier also. When we were setting up our house immediately after marriage, I tactfully decided upon all the items to be bought by the same '30 minute shop anything funda' through the aid of google and various other comparative websites and I was pretty sure that we will go into a electronic megamart, book the items, pay for them and come out in the minimal time. But expectedly enough the story wasn't this rosy and tables were turned upside down the moment we entered the store. Where according to me a 180 or at max 210 litres refrigerator was quite sufficient for two of us, she straight away booked the 330 litres variant without letting me even ask the logic behind such an act. Now, that refrigerator stands taller than me and atleast 3 gals of my wife's size can easily fit in that, but then you don't have the luxury of doing things by logic and reasons. The same happened with almost every item, be it the super wide, flat and theatre-esque Television set on which the leading ladies of Television cry religiously for 4-5 hours every night and I have to tolerate these melodramatic scenes every single day and that too on that ultra huge television set; or be it that extra fluffy sofa set, 501 functions microwave, ultra complicated food processor or those irritatingly gigantic wardrobes. Initially I tried to force my way by means of my own logic, rationale and sensibilty theories but her simple advice to me was - 'you should only be concerned about the bigger issues of life and leave the smaller ones to me', at the face of it I became very happy with opportunity of handling the bigger issues but she was quick enough to clarify the bigger and the smaller issues. By bigger issues she meant Indo Pak Peace process, when should Tendulkar retire, should Mayawati strike an alliance with BJP in the upcoming elections and etc etc and by smaller issues she meant all the issues related to our household. Understandably I had no choice hence now I try to just concentrate on the bigger issues of life by writing some stupid blogs:).

But the most painful moments are those everyday rendezvous with each of those objects at home, be it those ugly showpieces, be it that giant refrigerator or be it those various other wify's choice items. Every time I stare at them or walk pass them they seem to be laughing at me, virtually teasing me and making a cacophonous chorus dig at me. I some how feel so lonesome at times that it actually seems to be a 'me vs my wife and her troop' battle to which I have surrendered conveniently by now, rather I am trying to make friends with those dead but strong foes. But yeah this has become a part of life and I have accepted Mi Lord's diktat of handling the bigger issues and letting her take charge in the smaller ones, though my only hope and companion amidst all this chaos happens to be Mr. Tortoise:).

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